poptart dad

A delinquent father who believes that poptarts or any class of similar breakfast desserts high in fructose corn syrup can deliver adequate nourishment for their offspring. This individual usually puts forth minimal parental efforts to care for its young and usually is seen engaging in violent online clan gaming environments while simultaneously providing them with convenient pre-packaged high glycemic index sugary treats instead of proper nutritious options. This nutrition plan promotes discouraging signs of tooth decay fairly early in the child's life.

Me: "The reason we cant stand to be around our nephew for more than 5 minutes is because he is bouncing off the wall from all the poptarts you are feeding him for breakfast and 10 o'clock at night".....

Poptart Dad: "SO IM A POPTART DAD?!? THATS WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IM A POPTART DAD????"

Me: "Well yeah, if you want to call it that THEN YEAH YOU'RE A POPTART DAD!!!"

by children raising children June 29, 2011

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Poptart Love

The love between two people who met online and are crazy about each other even though they have never met. Yet.

The love Kodi has for Mitch and Mitch has for Kodi. Kodi lives in Ohio and Mitch lives in Missouri. Which is Poptart Love.

by Ohio Poptart June 19, 2009

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Mongolian Poptart

Verb: The fierce action of violent butt sex while threatening your partner with a bludgeoning tool.

I gave my wife the Mongolian Poptart last night and I'm pretty sure she left this morning with the kids. I hope I'm not in the dog house.

by TheRealCK August 10, 2010

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Dracula's poptart

Used sanitary towel.
Vampire snack food.

My girlfriend didn't flush hard enough and left her Dracula's poptart floating in the bog.

by Zen_Bastard December 16, 2012

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Queen Poptart

A derogatory term used to describe the head of that particular pack of bitches know as the Popular Ones, or, if none of them are around, any of the following: poptarts, sluts-a-million, or pow-whore rangers.

Queen Poptart over there's started dating the head of the football team. Hope he doesn't notice that she's screwing the rest of the team, too.

by Uncharted June 13, 2010

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