"If you have to request assistance/advice from a store/office-employee, you will be obliged to wander all over da place and "search till Doomsday" to find someone who is not presently too occupied to listen to you. Yet once you finally receive your answer, THEN there will be ABSOLUTE MULTITUDES OF PERSONNEL just lounging around and making themselves available, and so you will feel like a total JACKA** for not having simply waited a few more minutes to ask your question, rather than wearing out your feet and legs from running all over da shop to find someone to ask!"
I spent over five minutes scampering up and down the aisles at Wally-World trying to find a "free" employee to ask about the availability of a certain product, but then afterwards, there were several non-busy staffpeople whom I met en-route back to my shopping-cart whom I could have asked just as easily at that point --- talk about a classic case of Murphy's Law of Staff-Availability! :P :P
by QuacksO August 26, 2019
Get the Murphy's Law of Staff-Availability mug."If you leave your vehicle's engine running during a delay in proceeding (traffic-jam, road construction, accident-resolution, "stuck" red signal-light, etc.), you will be sitting there for many minutes, just wasting gas. The instant you turn the key off and climb out of your seat to stretch, however, THAT'S when the line of traffic will begin moving again, and thus you will have shut off your engine "for nothing", AND you will now be holding up everyone behind you while you hastily hop back into the driver's seat and re-start the engine so that you can move forward again."
I finally took da plunge and bought a second-hand Toyota Prius because I'd eventually had one too many cases of Murphy's Law of Engine-Idling Duration... the Prius automatically shuts down its power during stand-stills, and then uses its electric motor to provide instant mobility as soon as you're ready to go again.
by QuacksO October 20, 2018
Get the Murphy's Law of Engine-Idling Duration mug."You can stroll a store's aisles till Doomsday and never spot da item you want, but then, just as soon as you interrupt a staffperson to ask for help in locating said desirable, THAT'S when you will notice your sought-after item right off!"
While stocking up on food at a Super Walmart, I was looking for larger packages of Armour Vienna sausage so that I could save a few cents per can, but although I had thoroughly searched the surrounding areas on the shelves, I still hadn't found anything bigger than the small six-packs, so I finally asked a nearby employee if there were any of the larger packages in stock, possibly in the back room. Well, just as we were both walking back to the area of the aisle where I'd been looking, THAT'S when I finally spied the 12-packs that were sitting on the very top shelf! Guess that was a classic case of Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistance... ah, well, again, the 12-packs were indeed sitting very high up, so at least that was a plausible excuse for my not having seen them before, especially since the store usually doesn't even expect its customers to notice stuff that's placed 'way up there, anyway; that "lofty" location is merely where they store extra merchandise for replenishing the lower-down shelves when the stock there starts to run low.
by QuacksO May 14, 2019
Get the Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistance mug.Refers to the infuriating situation of something you need's usually being at the bottom of a pile, at the back of a drawer/shelf, etc.
I have a 2--vertical-layers-deep stack of plastic totes for storing my DVD-collection, arranged in alphabetical order. It's often the case that the disc I want to watch has a title that is near the end of the alphabet, though, and so I hafta laboriously remove all da rest of da crates to access the very back/bottom box... yep, a classic case of Murphy's Law of Accessibility!
by QuacksO October 13, 2018
Get the Murphy's Law of Accessibility mug."The desirability of and/or your need for an item at a garage sale will be in direct inverse proportion to the likelihood of your actually being able to purchase it."
The four most common/infuriating occasions when Murphy's Law of Garage Sales holds true:
(1) A desired item is something that's just stored in the family's garage; it’s not one of the items for sale.
(2) The item has already been sold, and the homeowner is just “holding” it till the buyer gets back with either the money or a vehicle to transport the item to his own home.
(3) The item is too expensive, and the seller will not budge on the price. (Note: this is not always an "all hope is lost" situation --- you may have at least two additional options. First, try coming back again later in the day to see if the item is still unsold --- if YOU think that the item is overpriced, then most OTHER yard-sailers may think so, too, and so nobody else may have bought the item yet, either, giving you a second crack at possibly purchasing it at a reduced price, especially since by now the seller may likely feel a bit "desperate" to get rid of it. And second, have a glance at the trash-heap out front of the person’s house that evening --- sometimes unsold yard-sale items will simply be tossed out, and so you can then get them for free.)
(4) The item is something that you would logically want to test out first to make sure it operates satisfactorily, but there is no hookup for electricity/water/telephone/internet/antenna/audio/video at the site of the sale, and the stubborn owner will not allow you to either bring the item into his house or temporarily take it somewhere else to test it.
(1) A desired item is something that's just stored in the family's garage; it’s not one of the items for sale.
(2) The item has already been sold, and the homeowner is just “holding” it till the buyer gets back with either the money or a vehicle to transport the item to his own home.
(3) The item is too expensive, and the seller will not budge on the price. (Note: this is not always an "all hope is lost" situation --- you may have at least two additional options. First, try coming back again later in the day to see if the item is still unsold --- if YOU think that the item is overpriced, then most OTHER yard-sailers may think so, too, and so nobody else may have bought the item yet, either, giving you a second crack at possibly purchasing it at a reduced price, especially since by now the seller may likely feel a bit "desperate" to get rid of it. And second, have a glance at the trash-heap out front of the person’s house that evening --- sometimes unsold yard-sale items will simply be tossed out, and so you can then get them for free.)
(4) The item is something that you would logically want to test out first to make sure it operates satisfactorily, but there is no hookup for electricity/water/telephone/internet/antenna/audio/video at the site of the sale, and the stubborn owner will not allow you to either bring the item into his house or temporarily take it somewhere else to test it.
by QuacksO August 1, 2018
Get the Murphy's Law of Garage Sales mug."No matter where you stand, da breeze will invariably blow either towards you or in your face, causing you great difficulty in proceeding ahead and/or "cleanly"/effectively performing tasks dat involve/include vapors/particulates/liquids." (Think, Murphy's Law of Cigarette Smoke, or trying to bicycle someplace on a blustery day and da stiff wind keeps switching around so dat it's always hinderingly in your face --- never helpfully at your back --- both on your way to your destination AND on your way back home again!)
P.S. Oh yeah --- and don't even **consider** simply postponing outdoor activities till a "still spell" --- DAT will only mean multitudes of mosquitoes and black flies to torment you and make you WISH for a breeze!
P.S. Oh yeah --- and don't even **consider** simply postponing outdoor activities till a "still spell" --- DAT will only mean multitudes of mosquitoes and black flies to torment you and make you WISH for a breeze!
Two classic examples of da infuriating effects of Murphy's Law Of Wind-Direction would be (1) trying to water your hanging-basket plants on da front porch, but da watering-can's sprinkled droplets keep blowing backwards so dat da water both largely misses your plants and gets you soaking-wet, and (2) trying to employ toss-across collecting when gathering returnables along da highway, but having many of da thrown containers just blow right back onto your side of da road.
by QuacksO August 12, 2019
Get the Murphy's Law Of Wind-Direction mug."If you buy just one of something, you will surely break it almost immediately, but if you buy one or more "spare" items to have "just in case", your "initial" item will miraculously escape damage no matter how many mishaps you endure, and thus those duplicate items will merely gather dust in the garage or at the back of your desk-drawer."
I have always tried to handle objects gently and carefully, but due to extreme forgetfulness and physical/mental/emotional infirmities, I tend to "be rough on my stuff" --- sitting/stepping on unobserved items, blundering into objects as I'm groggily stumbling to the bathroom in the middle of the night, soiling items or spilling/dropping stuff, etc., and so I occasionally attempt to "prepare for the future" by acquiring spares of the types of items which I typically seem to damage or break; only prob is that just as soon as I do "lay in for a rainy day" like that, the "currently-being-used" object that I had been procuring said spares for NEVER SEEMS TO ACTUALLY SUSTAIN SIGNIFICANT DAMAGE, and so all of those extras that I'd carefully tucked away just "sit there for decades"... talk about a classic case of "Murphy's Law of Spares"!
by QuacksO November 23, 2018
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