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Shut up and give me my computer back

when someone doesn't give back your computer when you ask for it.
Hey April shut up and give me my computer back.
by jdnsjcknknsd May 2, 2017
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School Computer

Either school issued laptops or the computers found in the library and computer labs.

Characteristics of a school computer:

-Trash hardware

-SHIT processor and graphics card, inability to run any games. Even something as simple as Minecraft or Roblox wouldn't start, forget about running anything decent.

-Inability to run even anything, even opening up Microsoft Word might crash the computer.

-Grainy 480p monitor from the 70's

-Extremely strict and unnecessary parental controls. Nearly every site will be blocked even the ones such as YouTube and Agar.io. The parental controls are the only thing on the computer that even works

-A pain in the ass and a bad time. You're better off buying a $500 computer yourself
Person 1: This school computer is trash, It can't even open Minecraft
Person 2: Yeah, let's just save for a real computer.
by TheExtremeEvoker December 24, 2018
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School computer

The shittiest machine ever.
can't do anything on this lousy machine
probably made by goblins in the year 10000000000000000 b.c. and then puked up by a yak and pooped out by a skunk
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAMN GLITCHY ITS PHYSICALLY FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!
student: I HATE THIS FUCKING SCHOOL COMPUTER!!!
teacher: YOU WERE UNMUTED!
student: DAMN IT!!!!
Nelson Muntz: HAW HAW!
by Lovecraftian_Horror#1 January 19, 2021
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Sandbox Computer

A computer, usually old or out dated but not always, that is used to experiment and/or test out OSs, modding, programs, coding, and much more without the worry of losing valuable info or damaging expensive hardware and software.
Guy1: Dude, have you seen how cool windows 7 is going to be?
Guy2: Seen it? I just installed the release candidate on my sandbox computer to test it out.
by DarkTavern February 25, 2010
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School computer

A computer that is comparable to a Lada car: It is slow, most of its features don't work, it takes 10 minutes to start up, but it will never stop working.
If it is a laptop, it is probably some crappy Lenovo ThinkPad with 2gb of ram. If your'e lucky then the school offers BYOD, so you can use your own actually good laptop. If you're not so lucky, it might even be a Chromebook (i wouldn't even call these laptops)
School desktops are slightly better, but only just. Normally they are used until they die one day because no one has cleaned the dust out of it since 2005 and it overheated.
P1: AAARGH this school laptop is trash *throws it for the 10th time this day*
P2: it's a school computer, what do you expect?
by HamoodHabibi2.0 May 16, 2023
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Satiellited remote hacking of the computer

Satelited remote hacking of the computer is a new level of computer intrusion. It is a wireless air-born connection that attacks your computer physically, freezing it up, and overtaking your programs, folder and can
corrupt,damage and hijack your programs from a nearby remote location. EVEN IF YOUR COMPUTER IS NOT ON A LIVE INTERNET CONNECTION.
This is an explanation of "Satiellited remote hacking of the computer".You are on your Windows based PC at home, and are working on your word processor writing to your bank or credit card company.Your neighbor,who stole your mail & defrauded your credit cards, can remote into your home computer while you are on it,hijack a copy of the document you just typed, without coming to your door and or using the internet. It's a military grade software. In addition, there are other features where as a person with the remoted software, can assault you with an electric shock while you are sitting at table in a coffee shop, and they have brought their laptop computer to use there. An electrical shock airborne, can strike you & ZAP you electrically from the software in his computer.You do not have to be on the internet for this to occur. Only to have your computer turned on and or your body within the established range of the assault computer.
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