The funniest/manliness piece of literature mankind has ever read. Perhaps it will be looked back on as the manliest book of all time.
To quote the author, Maddox (creator of "The Best Page in the Universe... www.maddox.xmission.com), here's an exerpt and commentary from/about his book:
"This is the only sentence in the entire book that will give you a chance to adjust your face; take your time, because it’s about to be rocked off — permanently.
Finally, a book that guarantees your balls will be stomped; a book so manly that it will make even the burliest of men (and in some cases, the burliest of women) feel inadequate. So manly, it needs to be shaved: The Alphabet of Manliness. This collection of sacred writings may very well be the greatest compilation of all things manly throughout history. Here’s a small sample of the ass-kickery found within these revered pages of outright manliness:
* People getting drop-kicked in the face
* Phallic aggression
* Violence in excess of what has come to be known as excessive
* Garish disregard for the well-being of children
* Contempt for animals, women, and other cultures
* Intimidating rhetoric
* Obscure penile references
* The triumph of flannel over good taste"
- Maddox
To quote the author, Maddox (creator of "The Best Page in the Universe... www.maddox.xmission.com), here's an exerpt and commentary from/about his book:
"This is the only sentence in the entire book that will give you a chance to adjust your face; take your time, because it’s about to be rocked off — permanently.
Finally, a book that guarantees your balls will be stomped; a book so manly that it will make even the burliest of men (and in some cases, the burliest of women) feel inadequate. So manly, it needs to be shaved: The Alphabet of Manliness. This collection of sacred writings may very well be the greatest compilation of all things manly throughout history. Here’s a small sample of the ass-kickery found within these revered pages of outright manliness:
* People getting drop-kicked in the face
* Phallic aggression
* Violence in excess of what has come to be known as excessive
* Garish disregard for the well-being of children
* Contempt for animals, women, and other cultures
* Intimidating rhetoric
* Obscure penile references
* The triumph of flannel over good taste"
- Maddox
Chapter "R" for Restroom Etiquette from The Alphabet of Manliness states:
"RULE 1: Don't Gawk At the Cock
If you look at a man's penis at a urinal, the packets of light known as photons are bouncing off his dick and are being directly absorbed into your eyes. You wouldn't drip visine into your eyes that has dripped off another man's balls would you??"
"RULE 1: Don't Gawk At the Cock
If you look at a man's penis at a urinal, the packets of light known as photons are bouncing off his dick and are being directly absorbed into your eyes. You wouldn't drip visine into your eyes that has dripped off another man's balls would you??"
by LoganP June 26, 2006
Get the the alphabet of manliness mug.1. One who is a completely fraudulent alpha male.
2. One who lacks any sort of the real life attributes of an alpha male, while conversely acting like he is one.
3. The first and most substantial commandment in the practice of Cogswellianism.
2. One who lacks any sort of the real life attributes of an alpha male, while conversely acting like he is one.
3. The first and most substantial commandment in the practice of Cogswellianism.
Friend 1: "Mike is such a complete pseudo alpha male."
Friend 2: "How can you tell?"
Friend 1: "Well, he may try to be domineering, but there's not a single guy I know that fears or even remotely respects him."
Friend 2: "How can you tell?"
Friend 1: "Well, he may try to be domineering, but there's not a single guy I know that fears or even remotely respects him."
by Sharterbaggers January 13, 2008
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Theta Phis are the most real girls in any sorority. They are sweet, kind, caring, and crazy intelligent. They are leaders in on and off the campus representing true Greek Life. Not only are the all around bad-asses but they are the most crazy fun sorority girls you will ever meet. They are the beautiful girls you take home to mom and then they out drink your dad under the table, because they already out drank every fraternity. Never sober, always true are the theta phis, known for holding their liquor with class. The penguin best represents them because they travel in packs, mate for life, and are always dressed for a party. Do not try and mess with a theta phi girl because if you mess with one you mess with the entire sorority. There sisterhood is the strongest, truest, and proudest of the greek tree. They would never bad mouth their sisters and are always there by there side. Every loyal, ever lasting are the Theta Phi Alpha girls.
Dude1: Wow, you would be a perfect Theta Phi Alpha. You are smart, beautiful, sweet, outgoing, and crazy fun!
PNM: Thanks! Its only the dream to belong to the best sorority on campus.
PNM: Thanks! Its only the dream to belong to the best sorority on campus.
by CollegeCampuses March 18, 2015
Get the Theta Phi Alpha mug.by ARandomManOnTheInternet October 3, 2022
Get the Alphabet lore mug.by Mellisa November 29, 2007
Get the alpha kenny body mug.If you receive a text message at 2 in the morning from your friend at the bar that looks like they typed it with their left eyebrow whilst nursing on the antenna you probably can't read it as it's spelled alphanubeerically and only the sender will be able to decipher it.
by Adam Nault January 12, 2008
Get the alphanubeerical mug.Alphana is a man that is a jack of all trades. He is kinda tall, sexy, great in bed, good with his hands, very polite, very mysterious, shy, loving, has a big heart and knows how to be the life of the party, but people also take him serious and will never test him.
by cici1991 April 15, 2015
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