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couch dolphin

1. (noun) A colloquial name for the Indo-Appalachian right-finned porpoise, usually found gesticulating betwixt couch cushions very racistly. Swims to the very far right and has a parasitic relationship with the “greatest” and whitest of sharks, when convenient.

2. (noun) A person who has intimate relations with an upholstered sitting apparatus, while they are watching p0rnpoise, because the concept of true human connection perplexes them.
Well… that Jim Dave Vance fellow turned out to be a real, self-described couch dolphin. Yikes. Is this why Cleveland had to get rid of Sea World?
by Judith Jetson Lightyear July 27, 2024
mugGet the couch dolphinmug.

couch potatotalitarianism

When a democratic society becomes a dictatorship because the people are too lazy to revolt
Our country used to be free but we were so busy playing video games we didn't notice the fascists take over; now we're plagued by couch potatotalitarianism
by Morriebunned May 29, 2017
mugGet the couch potatotalitarianismmug.

Loser Couch

A couch in which the losers at -insert video game you're playing here- are forced to sit while they wait to rejoin the next round of said game.
Lizzy, You are playing like you should be sitting on the loser couch with Blake!
by MoronicMaureen December 24, 2009
mugGet the Loser Couchmug.

couch stank

(Adj); The aftermath of sex on a couch that represents sweat, sex, and sometimes shame.
Did you do her last night?

Yeah, but it was cold in my bed, so I did her on the couch, and now I'm dealing with the couch stank.

Well at least you got the poon.

*High five*
by firmgrasper February 9, 2014
mugGet the couch stankmug.

Turkish Couch Bath

The act of getting so drunk that you pass out on a piece of furniture, typically a couch, fully clothed. The “actor” proceeds to blow chunks, traditionally a noodle based meal, on to the furniture and his person. Two or more participating males remove clothing and vigorously wipe down the actor and furniture piece removing said chunks with sponges or clothes, thus completing the “Turkish Couch Bath”.

n. Subsequent cleaning of the furniture by minor children is also referred to as a “Turkish Play date”
C-bone: “TJ got so ripped last night he ended up puking up Mac salad all over the couch and himself. Damien and I had to give him an old fashion Turkish Couch Bath.”
by Big Ticket76 November 26, 2021
mugGet the Turkish Couch Bathmug.

Ethan Couch ain't got nuthin' on me

A "modern day" variation on the classic "I'll be able to call David Rockefeller a tramp" saying, and used to humorously refer to your having made a modest profit and/or unexpectedly gained a few bucks extra on a difficult job you recently completed.
Cool hunk #1, seeing his buddy --- who had jokingly told him earlier that morning that he was "wearing himself out getting rich" by driving here and there around town for a couple hours to give several people car-rides for a few bucks apiece --- feverishly lugging humongous bundles of bagged returnable-containers along a hot dusty highway: Gettin' too rich there, Dude?
Cool hunk #2: Yeah, fer sher, Pal --- I declare, I'm gettin' so gol-durned filthy-rich that I can hardly even carry all my vast wealth around! Ethan Couch ain't got nuthin' on me!
by QuacksO August 17, 2018
mugGet the Ethan Couch ain't got nuthin' on memug.

Couch

by Nfjfjd February 8, 2022
mugGet the Couchmug.

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