Goon Walk

Masturbating into the underwear that you are wearing while watching porn and then moon-walking away from the scene of the crime like Michael Jackson.

"His seed sewn warmly into his own garments, he executed a perfect goon walk away from the computer screen."

by Old Henry November 10, 2025

Hate-gooning

To continue consuming content you despise for the sole purpose of complaining and belittling it, typically to stimulate long dead joy centers in the brain.

Tim and his friends each spent 20 dollars a month so they could spend every Wednesday hate-gooning to Star Wars together, and sending threatening DMs to the actors.

by Jarjarbonks June 15, 2024

Glamour gooning

A specific type of gooning usually involving a focus on heightened glamour, such as formal or club attire, including but not limited to dresses, stiletto heels, and accessories.

Upset after being stood up, she lit a blunt and spent the night glamour gooning, still dressed in her stunning dress and heels, losing herself in hours of online adult content.

by Carrie Cougar February 20, 2025

Cow Manure Flicker-Gooning

An extremely difficult style of flicker gooning, only ever been performed by the great Cleetus Ibuprofen, who decided that Japanese kamikaze flicker gooning wasn't enough for him. To execute this technique, you must produce 2 and a half home depot buckets of dihh cheese, reverse time itself to de-age your dihh cheese back into milk, creating a cow magnet which magnetizes every cow in a 69 mile radius to atatch to your dihh. Now, you must touch 3 pressure points on each of the cows asshole, forcing them to shit all over your dihh. Now all thats left is to do a regular flicker gooning technique, which will shoot a milk-semen mixture everywhere, which Cleetus nick named "Cummilk", causing a tsunami. This technique is extremely dangerous and should never be performed under any circumstance, unless you are Cleetus himself

Do you remember when Cleetus flooded the city with semen because of the Cow Manure Flicker-Gooning technique?

by Cablito August 31, 2025

Moon Gooning

when you and the natives cut the head off a buffalo, wait till sundown, put the buffalo's head on top of your head and star gooning under the stars.

me and eagle eye are gonna go down to the river tonight and begin moon gooning

by eagle eye532 November 18, 2023

Gooning

Totally spacing out, staring at nothing, or having your brain check out for a sec. Just vibing, no weird stuff involved.

"Bro, sorry, didn't hear a word you said. I was hardcore gooning."

by lolbabe4 April 24, 2025

Goon Saloon

A place where western cowboys go to jerk off for extended periods of time while edging. Then proceed to have a nice cold drink after.

Clint: Hey Dutch, wanna go to the Goon Saloon?
Dutch: Sure, I have a standoff with Cassidy later and I need to have a clear mind.
Clint: That's exactly what I'm saying Dutch, we need to hit a nice long goon session!
Alonzo: Do y'all got room for one more?
McCree: It's high goon... It's time to go to the goon saloon!

by JewCrewTripleK_GrandWizard March 15, 2024