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e - mail abuse

Officially, the misuse of employer provided e - mail.

Practically, something that you get accused of when your work want you to leave / block a promotion / sack people without paying redundancy costs etc.

Usually ends with being hit with the disciplinary hammer, generally with a view to sacking your ass.
Employee is called to a meeting and presented with a pile of e - mails.

Manager:

We've audited your inbox and these e - mails are completely unacceptable and represent e - mail abuse and a breach of the Code of Conduct.

What did you mean when you wrote 'I'd smack that back door' when writing about my PA?

HR Manager:

Think carefully about your answer. Sexual Harrasment and non work usage of electronic media is a dismissable offence.

Employee:

I was referring to her great ass and saying I'd like to show it love. I thought it was flattering.

Manager:

That's not an appropriate way to behave in a disciplinary hearing.

HR Manager:

I refer you to your e - mail asking Joe if he had seen the murmur pants on display in Finance. What are murmur pants?

Employee:

You should know. You told me.

HR Manager:

This isn't about me.

Employee:

It's a tight pair of female pants that mean you can see the lips moving but you can't hear a sound.

Is there any point in continuing this discussion?

HR Manager & Manager

No
by HR_Advisory March 22, 2011
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dear girls above me

A website where a very poor guy posts hilarious, witty letters to the two stupid girls, whose comments he must listen to everyday, that live above him.
Dear girls above me,
"I'm telling you, I have Toxic Shock Syndrome!" What the hell is Toxic Shock Syndrome? Hold on, let me google-EWWWWWWW!

Dear girls above me,
"He's taking me out to some restraunt in Koreatown. Oh great, I hate sushi!" Maybe they can whip you up some korean food.

Dear girls above me,
"Screw you, Claire. The only reason you have more facebook friends than me, is because you accept everyone." Subtext: You're a whore.

Dear girls above me,
"Everyone's been honking and staring at me funny. Maybe I'm a part of a conspiracy?!" Ya, no way it's cause you're a crappy driver.

Dear girls above me,
"What age is socially acceptable for plastic surgery?" Didn't you get a nose-"And you know my nose job doesn't count." Well, okay.

Dear girls above me,
"Little bunny foo foo, hopping through the forest. Jerking off the field mice and giving lots of head!" We had very different childhoods.
by Shortlegz July 29, 2011
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Related Words

NOCAYB (No One Cares About Your Boner)

NOCAYB (acronym for "No One Cares About Your Boner") is shorthand reminders of one of the true maxims of a polite interaction online: nobody cares about your boner. Typically deployed in situations where a party has unnecessarily brought up the attractiveness of a celebrity, or sexualized something or someone to an uncomfortable extent, bringing an unfortunate halt to normal, non-perverted conversation.
Dude 1: "Yo, man, that Anne Hathaway is a great actress."

Dude 2: "Yes, she is! She also has really nice feet. I want her to crush my balls like wine grapes."
Dude 1: "...Um, NOCAYB (No One Cares About Your Boner), Dude 2."
by AntiBannerThief June 21, 2018
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When someone is saying something that you have either

A) No clue what the fuck they are talking about, or
B) No interest in it whatsover.

It is basically saying "Shut the fuck up" without offending the person talking. And hopefully, they will get the hint and shut the fuck up.
Example A:

"So, if you just take the Rotation Muffler and place it into the X-axis, then you have a complete circuit."

".............I see what you're talking about."

Example B:

"So yeah, she lost the baby, dude. She's heartbroken about it."

"......I see what you're talking about."

"............You're an asshole, dude."
by DHarding March 2, 2010
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A medley of not giving a fuck and not giving a shit. In addition to expressing you don't give a fuck, you furthermore reduce the topics about which you don't give a fuck to shit.
I was thinking about her but then realized I don't give a fuck about shit
by dontgohomeangelina April 16, 2016
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my mouth hasn't shut up about you since you kissed it.

My mouth hasn't shut up about you since you kissed it. The idea that you may kiss it again is stuck in my brain, which hasn't stopped thinking about you since, well, before any kiss. And now the prospect of those kisses seems to wind me like when you slip on the stairs and one of the steps hits you in the middle of the back. The notion of them continuing for what is traditionally terrifying forever excites me to an unfamiliar degree
my mouth hasn't shut up about you since you kissed it. The idea that you may kiss it again is stuck in my brain, which hasn't stopped thinking about you since, well, before any kiss. And now the prospect of those kisses seems to wind me like when you slip on the stairs and one of the steps hits you in the middle of the back. The notion of them continuing for what is traditionally terrifying forever excites me to an unfamiliar degree

alex turners love letter to alexa chung
by jay turner lolz January 21, 2021
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ABC shower

A quick shower that only includes the dirty basics: armpits, butt, and crotch.
"Don't worry, it's just an abc shower, i'll be over in 5"
by seditious jason April 20, 2009
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