TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR FAMILY IS STRESSED

10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".
9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
8. The cat is on Valium.
7. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.
5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
3. "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
2. You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
1. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.

person1: i think my family is stressed
person2: do they have time to wait for a microwave dinner
person1: ur right then
person2: why
person1: got it from this list called top 10 signs your family is stressed

by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 23, 2009

Bat Signal

A mass text message or email that informs your friends of an impromptu social event.

Researcher 1: We've been sequencing DNA for 13 hours; I need a ton of beer and a dance party, in that order.

Researcher 2: Hell yeah! I'll put out the bat signal.

by fisdpdt June 21, 2007

signs

1. that nasty feeling in your stomach right before diarrhea

2.the act of shitting your brains out

damn, i got signs...where the hell is a bathroom!

by shnoog December 2, 2004

Significant Other

Someone you don't have.

Okay you probably do. Significant other is someone that you love, someone you feel affectionate towards. Someone you proudly call yours and also the person who proudly calls you theirs.

How sweet.

Some guy: Hey, you single?
You or literally anyone: I have a significant other. Therefore, I am not single.
Some guy: .....Three-wa-
You or literally anyone: Absolutely not.

by Professional TikTok Ruiner October 27, 2019

The Guy Who Signed Up For Fun

Reference to the movie "Battle Royale".

I'm the guy who signed up for fun!

by Shred February 13, 2004

significantly

1. a. Having or expressing a meaning: Are the markings on the stone significant?

b. Having or expressing a covert or nonverbal meaning; suggestive: a significant glance.

2. Having or likely to have a major effect; important: a significant change in the tax laws.

3. Fairly large in amount or quantity: significant casualties; no significant opposition.

4. Statistics Of or relating to observations or occurrences that are too closely correlated to be attributed to chance and therefore indicate a systematic relationship.

The left rock was significantly larger than the right rock.

by Foxy-Toes January 2, 2017

Virtue Signalling

What celebrities, politicians and companies do when they are trying to be politically woke.

Nobody:
J. K. Rowling: Btw, Dumbledore was in a passionate gay relationship.
Everyone: Uh, ok... Where is that in the books and movies?
J. K. Rowling: Nowhere, i just made it so.
Everyone: Why are you saying this only now? Back in 2007 (when the last Harry Potter book came out) only one state had gay marriage legalized. Don't you think the LGBTQ community would have liked your support more back then?
J. K. Rowling: ...
Everyone: ...
J. K. Rowling: Well... but now he is SUPER gay.
Everyone, to each other: man, virtue signalling like this is just so pretentious.
J. K. Rowling: Also, have you heard about Hermione?
Everyone: please stop.

by german_latino May 7, 2020