Captain Universe

A caped crusader known for various tactics of defeating crime, including riding on top of cars (also known as Urban Surfing), and kerb-crawling next to suspicious cyclists. Driving at low speed, the Captain reaches out of his car and produces a playmobil telephone to offer to the cyclist, claiming "It's for you-hooooo!"
If said cyclist answers the phone, or rejects it, the captain will identify their criminality, and speed off into the distance, singing "Caaaaaaaaptain Uuuuuuuuniiiiveeeeeeeeeerssssseee!!!"

This term can be used as a noun to describe the superhero, or as a verb to describe his actions of crime-fighting.

Did you see Captain Universe on Oxford Hight Street last night? He was mental! He nearly Captain Universe'd three cyclists in one go!

by Monty S-B November 26, 2010

Backwards Captain

When engaging in intercourse in the doggie position and just before the man climaxes, he pulls out, grabs the nearby bottle of captain Morgan, & spritzes it on his/her lower back. When the partner turns around to comment/complain, the man ejaculates directly into his/her face. Then he takes a bottle shot of the Captain and then proceeds to hit his partner in the face with said bottle.

Joshua: I gave Sheila the backwards captain last week. I haven't heard from her since.

by baconlynn August 22, 2016

captains curse

When you look around, but there is still nothing to eat in the house besides Cap'n Crunch cereal, so you partake in yet another helping.

Bro1: Hey man, what's there to eat around here?

Bro2: Cap'n Crunch

Bro1: Again?... *fists in the air, screaming towards the heavens* IT'S THE CAPTAINS CURSE!!!

by flannelhats January 8, 2011

Captain Numbnuts

Someone trying to act like the descendant of Captain Obvious

Person A: 2 plus 2 equal chair

Person B: You don't say! Thanks for the information, Captain Numbnuts!

by what do i care 125 February 4, 2022

the captain effect

When all forces combine to create the ultimate meth child, grown yet completely dulled and retarded, the creature would be known as "captain autism". When "it" finds a new victim to splooge its flem, and beat off to, it is known as the Captain Effect. Where the victim can no longer escape this new found growth of a creature attempting to suck the victim off at the force of a thousand suns

John became depressed as he realized he was under the spell of the captain effect.

by Edgemaster420691488 December 5, 2017

Captain Shook

A name for someone in a position of management who frequently overreacts to all employees mistakes.

"Hey Bill, is Captain Shook around? I spilled some water and I don't want to get written up again."

by HiIKnifeYou May 19, 2017

captain afghanistan

Also known as 'Captain', is an Australian super hero, originated from Afghanistan under the secret identity of Australian school boy, Oliver.

"It's a boat! It's a refugee! It's Captain Afghanistan!"

by Pu$$Y$l4er21 September 3, 2017