The Church

That's your fucking story? That the church swooped in and stopped all the raping and pillaging?

Hym "Holy shit you ACTUALLY did it! You gave the church credit for stopping rape. Go watch it. Everybody was raping and pillaging. Then the agricultural revolution happened and the people who hoarded resources started out-reproducing everyone. Then the church came along marriage saved everyone from rape... Except nobody told Christopher Columbus because I'm pretty sure his guys were raping and pillaging. There's some skepticism around it regarding his diary claiming that in his diary he told them not to rape. I know you're going to say here 'Columbus didn't work for the church!' And he didn't fucking have to you idiot. If the 'central guiding ethos' is the cause of everything that happens in a culture then it's the central guiding ethos. And as far as the bible is concerned, rape is rewarded. If you rape someone, according to the bible, you have to take the person as your wife. So, it's like pissing on a tree. There are MEN who ALMOST get raped in the bible. And the guy is like 'No, please, take my prostitute and daughter instead.' And take the daughter and prostitute they did. They didn't like the prostitute. They chopped her up pretty good. But it actively takes credit for every moral advancement humans make in real time. It didn't do that. It just unified the whites under one banner and the it came for eberyone else. Still, it's closer to MY theory of historical inter-sexual relationships than the red-pill dorks so... CORRECT AGAIN! The correctest man strikes again!"

by Hym Iam November 13, 2023

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Get the The Churchmug.

Church Yelling

When you smoke pot while taking a back road on the way home.

Mike: Dude, take the back road today.

Josh: Why?

Mike: Because I got a bag of weed, we can go church yelling.

Josh: Sweet.

by Olympic Jackass December 10, 2011

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Get the Church Yellingmug.

Curb Church

Curb Church is where you meet with a friend to talk about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness on a street curb till the wee hours of the morning while chasing the sunrise.

I could really use a little curb church tonight.

by Sjflow August 5, 2018

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