John Egbert

John Egbert, the first character introduced in homestuck, is a 13 year old male with the birthday 4/13. Also known as John Egderp, DORK, FUKING EGBERT, Joooooooohn, and rING THIEF

"Hey look it's fucking John Egbert"

by SeerOfBreath May 7, 2018

john o'callaghan

(the sex god of all sex gods), John O'Callaghan is an Arizona native and is the lead singer of indie-rock band, The Maine.
A.K.A John Ohhh

Laura: I saw The Maine last night and they were amazing.

Grace: Wait did you see John O'Callaghan?

Laura: Yeah I got a picture too

*Laura pulls out phone and shows picture*

*Both girls fall over*

by lookingformisery February 12, 2014

John watters

A over weight gym teacher that chokes out children for his own amusement.

Mr John watters abused me

by Mr bobbby January 9, 2020

John Kett

A figure of blame. If something has gone wrong, it invariably is John Kett's fault.

A John Kett can also be someone who enjoys drinking normal drinks, but whilst on fire. See - Flaming pint.

I can't believe the Conservatives are reducing Child Allowance - I know, I blame John Kett.

"My God! That man's pint of lager is on fire!"
"I know, he's doing a John Kett."

by Saffer77 January 17, 2012

John Pork

John Pork is one of the most violent criminals to ever exist. his danger to society has lead him to be imprisoned for the remainder of his life, he has been in pen for 100+ years - his immense strength, girth and tonnage has meant that he supposedly will live forever. Him and his accomplice "Holly Vickers" can be found in the popular video game devour (Holly on farm house and John on the town).

"bro, i had a nightmare last night, about John Pork"

"I've heard he's in jail for the brutal murder of several orphans and is now trying to summon Azazael"

by oPtIc FaTmAl May 1, 2022

Lil John

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayuuuuuuhhhhh! Whaaaaaaatttttttttt? Okkkkaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaayyyyyyuuuuuuuhhhh! Whhhhhaaaaattttttt? Okkkkaaaayyyy!"

by J 0 K A February 9, 2005

John Thomas

The penis. Usually used in British English, but also sometimes in US.

Sung by Eric Idle in Monty Python. The Meaning of Life (1983): ' Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis / Isn't it frightfully good to have-it-on / It's swell to have a stiffy / It's divine to own a dick / From the tiniest little tadger to the world's biggest prick / So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas / Hooray for your one-eyed-trouser-snake / Your piece of pork , your wife's-best-friend , your passing or your cock / You can wrap it up in ribbons, you can stuff it in your sock / But don't take-it out in public or they'll stick you in the dock and you won't come back .'

by Karl-Artur Haag August 28, 2005