Because you touch yourself at night!

One of the most popular theories as to how the dinosaurs become extinct.

Why did the dinosaurs die out?

Because you touch youself at night!

by AndyAML July 30, 2003

Protect yourself at all times

Did I ever tell you all the story of the Bernard Hopkins fight I watched once?

Hym “No? Ok. Bernard Hopkins (At last I think it watch him) won this fight against some Irish guy, right? And, throughout the match, here’s what he would do: he would clinch the guy, spin him around so that he (Bernard Hopkins) was between the ref and his opponent, and then he would rabbit punch him in the kidneys (against the rules). This happened so frequently the the opponent (can’t remember his name) stopped in the middle of the fight, looked at the ref, and raised his arms and said ‘What the fuck.’ He then proceeded to get jabbed in the face and I shit you not the ref looked him dead in the eyes and said ‘protect yourself at all times.’ I sat on my couch, mouth agape, in disbelief at what I was witnessing. Protect yourself at all times. That’s all the lousy motherfucker had to say for himself. Unbelievable. And that’s what this is like. You are all (both) the ref and the Bernard Hopkins. I couldn’t find the fight when I was looking for it but I will never forget that shit for the rest of my life.”

by Hym Iam October 16, 2022

oH mY gOsh eDucAte yOuRseLf

When two bitches went to ace con and we’re rude to Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie. And now has become a meme.

Seb: who’s tessa?
Bitch:HIS DOG OH MY GOSH EDUCATE YOURSELF

by Thotcheetopuffs July 07, 2018

shove yourself up your ass

When a person is speaking bull shit and you cant find a better response to tell their ass off with.

You can go shove yourself up your ass.

by Random person behind a LCD October 21, 2020

Trying to Knock Yourself Out

Trying to knock yourself out can be defined as repeatedly hitting oneself, generally on the back of head

“Are you trying to knock yourself out?!?”, yelled Timmy's mother.

by GlimmerGurl July 02, 2019

Because you touch yourself at night

The truly ultimate responce to any kind of stupid or annoying "why" question, or simply to a question you cannot answer.
That answer will totally piss off annoying kids who ask too many questions.
See also: because you're gay.

Kid: Why did the dinosaurs die out?
Tour guide: Because you touch yourself at night.

Son: Why do you drink so much, dad?
Dad: Because you touch yourself at night!

Little brother: Why don't you ever let me into your room?
Big brother: Because you touch yourself at night, you little brat!

by Urban_Fellow June 24, 2006

Go fuck yourself with a rusty screwdriver

How to say "go fuck yourself" but getting a better reaction out of the person and people around you. Unlike "go fuck yourself" Go fuck yourself with a screwdriver MUST be yelled as loudly as possible, even in a public place, no exceptions. This phrase may be used at any time, even when "go fuck yourself" normally wouldn't be used.

person1: So, I was thinking we could go out today an-
person2: GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A RUSTY SCREWDRIVER!
everybody around them: 0_0
person1:0_0 dude wtf

by JerZeyCJ February 14, 2011