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Floppy Johnson

When you fail to put on a condom correctly, causing the chick to lose interest and say "just forget it," leaving you with a floppy dick
I couldn't get the condom on fast enough so she was like "ya know what? nevermind." Needless to say, i got a floppy johnson last night
by El Muchador April 25, 2010
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Lynching a Johnson

The act of pleasuring one self with the use of one's hand
Scott was caught lynching a johnson at work the other day.
by Misha1369 September 29, 2009
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johnson-juggling

The act of stimulating a penis through mechanical hand motion. More often than not it denotes the stimulation of one's own penis by one's own hand, but it can also be used to describe the stimulation of the penis by the hands of a second party of the female gender.
1. Thadeus: ''Shit, man! I gotta put a stop to all the johnson-juggling. This is the 6th time this year I've had to get my spectacles prescription renewed''.

Alvin: ''I know, let's invent the 'johnson-juggling challenge!''

Thadeus: ''What the hell's that!?''

Alvin: ''Well basically it requires one to punish himself for any acts of johnson-juggling that he indulges in. The punsihment is that for each act of johnson-juggling that one indulges in, one must buy his opponent in the johnson-juggling challenge a beer at the next meeting''.

Thadeus: ''Awesome. Let's do it.

Note. Thadeus was tighter than 2 coats of paint. There was no way he was going to be buying Alvin beers. But...he was an honest guy so he just quit the johnson-juggling and saved himself the cash. IMPORTANTLY acts of johnson-juggling performed by a female are unpunishable.
by Papa J-Bomb January 3, 2011
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MINI JOHNSON

A LARGE CLITORIS. CALLED A MINI JOHNSON IN THAT IT RESEMBLES A SMALL PENIS.
I REACHED MY HAND DOWN REBECCA'S PANTS AND COULD SWEAR SHE HAD A MINI JOHNSON...HER CLIT WAS HUGE!
by DR. BLAQ July 20, 2010
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Unicycle Johnson

Used during roller hockey games. When a player on skates is not looking, an opposing player comes up from behind and sticks the blade of his stick between his legs and hits him in the balls. The player then proceeds to drag the unwilling recipient as far as he can on skates.
Billy didn't like the way Tom was playing in the hockey game, so he gave Tom a unicycle Johnson during a time out and Tom hasn't played since.
by Bryan McCabe December 26, 2006
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Sir Johnson

The most handsome guy someone will ever meet. He is caring, shy, and willing to do anything for someone who he cares for. He's strong and very athletic. He is sexy but doesn't show it off. The kind of guy any girl would love to have.
Sir? Sir Johnson?

Oh Sir. He's great.
by Tatiana Smith December 21, 2008
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Philip Johnson

Someone who looks like a cactus and is super homo. no one likes him and wants to kick his ass.
by kms.01 June 4, 2018
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