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Office Viral

Def'n #1: When an email gets passed around the office very quickly - usually when it wasn't supposed to.

Def'n #2: The speed with which the fun office rumours or gossip get passed around.
Jay: Our whole department has seen that wicked email you sent to Steve - that's NSFW!
May: Whoa, that was just meant for him. Dangit, it's gone Office Viral...

Sal: Hey, did you hear who Stupid Sexy Flanders is hooking up with?
Hal: Totally, but where have you been - that went Office Viral last week.
by Leafsblowgoats September 30, 2013
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Officer Jobbie

- A motherfucking Chad who likes too much of gangbang and golden shower.

- Spends too much of phone storage on telegram. (bout 300TB) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- Would snatch your girl using his strong pp energy, but will give you back your girl, if you offer some alcohol (hand sanitiser included)
"I spend too much time and storage on telegram."
'Maybe you are an officer jobbie.'

"I would like to sacrifices this bottle of hand sanitiser (contains alcohol) , if you return me my girl that you snatched easily, Lord officer jobbie."
by JDZD January 26, 2022
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office remora

the worker who will typically affiliate themselves with somone in power, sometimes the remora may even has assistant or associate in their own title, but not always. The remora never has any original ideas or points of view, and never initiates a conversation ...but once something has been sparked, one their has been a target and an initial death blow delivered by the "heavy", the office remora is 99% of the time the first person to jump in and attack/feed if you will off the strike
Jackson: I hate Drake, he such a remora, did you see the way he beat Jeff down after Miller drew first blood.
Murphy: I know, he's the head office remora.
by lastgreatnobody March 28, 2009
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deposition officer

A person pretending to be a certified shorthand reporter/stenographer/court reporter. They have no education, skills, or abilities to type. They are not qualified to even scope a transcript. They push a button to record what is going on in the room. All attorneys and witnesses think this person is qualified because they pretend to be. They are not qualified to do anything. They cannot read back. They cannot produce a transcript. They cannot type. After the legal proceedings, they outsource the audio tape to India or China and have someone whose second or third language is actually English to transcribe it. However, because they are secretly fooling everyone, they charge the price of an educated, accurate, real shorthand reporter. It is very much questionable whether the transcripts produced are legally certified and can be used to impeach witnesses at trial.
Excuse me, Miss Reporter. I didn’t hear that answer. Can you please read that back?

No, Counsel. I cannot read that back. I am an deposition officer. I can push play on the audio. I have secretly been recording. I’m not actually typing any of this. I’m charging you the same price as though I’m typing, but I’m not. I am merely recording it and making sure the recording is clear so I can send it to someone whose first language is not even English to do the rest for me
by anonymous December 5, 2024
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Officer Safety

Officer Safety (noun) – The ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card for law enforcement. It’s the excuse cops use to justify unnecessary aggression or excessive force, even when there’s no real threat. Picture this: you’re already handcuffed on the ground, barely moving, and they still got an arm around your throat, shouting “Officer safety!” as if you’re the dangerous one. It’s less about actual safety and more about flexing power, giving them a free pass for brutality, no matter how much control they already have.
Example 1:
“I was pinned down, cuffed, and they’re still yelling ‘officer safety’ while roughing me up like I’m some kind of threat.”

Example 2:
“I handed over my ID, rolled up my window to wait, and they told me to roll it back down for ‘officer safety.’ Like I’m gonna attack them from inside the car while they’re running my license. All they had to do was write the ticket.”
by Watchlist Subject 9596690-00 September 15, 2024
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Officer H. PRATT

Nigga in LS who's about to rip your ass up if u try him. He usually hangs with T. Faubourg. Words on street is that he took so many drugs and dracos from every nigga around LS, he doesn’t even declare them anymore.
Random nigga on Iddlewood : Keep yo choppa safe, officer H. Pratt finna take em from you.
by shitforeal May 25, 2020
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office carrier

A person who is regularly sick. Instead of staying home to tend their illness, they bring their sickness into the office and spread it. These people tend to have children, the ultimate carrier.
Jane, the office carrier, decided to be selfish and work today, despite being sick as a dog.
by laebshade November 11, 2016
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