The Two Pump Rule

The Two Pump Rule has been created in honor of all those christians who feel guilty about having sex even if the guy just put his penis in once and then they felt bad and stopped. Do not worry my fellow christians, you did not have sex because a penis must be inserted into the vagina two times to have had sex. The head of the penis must totally be inside to count as a pump. If she is a virgin and you give only two pumps but break the hymen then well done, you have pooped her cherry without having sex with her.

Example 1:
Sally: I'm pregnant with your baby
John: Bitch, no your not
Sally: Your the only one I have has sex with
John: We didn't have sex, we didn't have sex because I got mines within two pumps
Sally: What?
John: Yeah bitch, "The Two Pump Rule", now get the fuck out my house cause I'm not the father.

Example 2:
Jack: Did you fuck my Wife!!!!!!
Matt: No
Matt: (thinking to himself)- I did not fuck her because I jacked off in the bathroom until I was almost about to cum and then went onto the bed and put it in her and ejaculated on the second pump...therefore I did not fuck her....thanks to The Two Pump Rule

by not a father July 18, 2010

Old English Pump and Run

a variation of Vivaldi's 8th Symphony in A minor, this involves: insertion of the male penis into the mandibula of a three-month pregnant sea donkey. Upon insertion the male farts as loud as possible while simultaneously humming the first 3 bars of the Czechoslovakia national anthem and plagerizing a copy of the world renoun one act play Oust (originally written and directed by Al Gore).

Bobby busted out with the Old English Pump and Run last night during a game of twister with the family.

by doctronx boys February 16, 2009

No Pump Chump

A horny bastard who cant hold his load and sploojes all over a girl before any contact is made

dude did you hear about casey bailey dude? ya i heard he came all over liz for no reason! ya hes for sure a no pump chump

by AVfag August 25, 2010

lil pump

lil pump probably fucked your bitch in some gucci flipflops. He dropped out of harvard to save the rap game with breath taking lyrics like "gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang gucci gang" and "I sold crack on paypal".

"Bro did you here lil pumps new song"
"Yeah , he's a genius"

by hitler_wasnt_that_bad January 7, 2018

Iowa Gas Pump

While having sex pull out and fart in the girls pussy then continue having sex. She will then queef out the cum.

"My bitch let me give her an Iowa Gas Pump for my birthday"

by Cory January 14, 2007

one pump chump

a friend who has his first ever relationship in his life, and his first time fucking he only lasts thirty seconds in her vagina

josh: so i heard you lasted 30 seconds sean: meah... she was tight josh:yea okay you dont thrust once and call it quits you one pump chump you go back and pounce on it

by josh510 July 12, 2009

give me a pump

Offering a friend a ride on your bicycle. Usually on buddy pegs, or on the handlebars.

Hey man, I don't feel like walking. Will you give me a pump?

by Ryan Mathews May 27, 2008