by Keeltor jesus June 16, 2018
Get the The Mantis mug.Identification: Guatemalan Mantises (guat mantids) are among the nastiest hood rats found in the general population. Adults range from 5 to 6 ft long, are dark, & usually brown, or yellowish (jaundice-drug or alcohol use). The females have big boobs & big front arms consisting of long jagged nails to attack sexual competition & random hoes. The male tends to be tatted, drunk & high on drugs. The vernacular/tone of this mantis consists of yelling & belligerence. Their large heads can rotate about 180 degrees & have large, bulging eyes. The term “Praying” comes from a common occurrence of vomiting on the weekends.
Lookalikes: Guat Mantids are not distinctive & can be confused with other mantids such as the Mexican & Puerto Rican variety. But the Guat genus is far more lazy, violent & volatile than it’s Mexican cousin, relating closer to its Puerto Rican relative.
Life Cycle: The Guat genus does not typically live a long life. The males succumb to gang violence, drug overdoses, & domestic abuse. The female tends to live longer than the male. It drains the lifeblood, bank accounts & credit cards of its mate slowly, & instead of decapitating it’s mate like other mantises, it’s aggressive & confrontational to the rest of the mantis population, further alienating its mate.
Habitat: Unfortunately, infestations of Guat Mantids are found throughout N. America, but you can primarily find them at terrible bars, clubs, & the streets. They lurk in the shadows waiting for prey to arrive.
Lookalikes: Guat Mantids are not distinctive & can be confused with other mantids such as the Mexican & Puerto Rican variety. But the Guat genus is far more lazy, violent & volatile than it’s Mexican cousin, relating closer to its Puerto Rican relative.
Life Cycle: The Guat genus does not typically live a long life. The males succumb to gang violence, drug overdoses, & domestic abuse. The female tends to live longer than the male. It drains the lifeblood, bank accounts & credit cards of its mate slowly, & instead of decapitating it’s mate like other mantises, it’s aggressive & confrontational to the rest of the mantis population, further alienating its mate.
Habitat: Unfortunately, infestations of Guat Mantids are found throughout N. America, but you can primarily find them at terrible bars, clubs, & the streets. They lurk in the shadows waiting for prey to arrive.
Heard your friend George married a Guatemalan Praying Mantis. I hope he’s ready for a life of misery, craziness and isolation.
by bertrando1 May 23, 2023
Get the Guatemalan Praying Mantis mug.Related Words
manties • granny manties • Mantis • mantress • mantis shrimp • mantes • maties • Mantis-style • mantie • MantisBoi
actually not a true Shrimp, it is actually a type of Stomotopod that frequently comes with live rock. It eats basically anything and can cause havoc in reef systems. Peacock Mantis' are known to grow up to 6'' and some species have the striking power of a .22 pistol! They're by far the coolest live rock hitchhiker. If you have a Mantis Shrimp, it may make a sharp CRACKING noise which means its banging or striking against the glass or something in your tank; known to eat coral, fish and inverts.
guy 1: Dude I just got a mantis shrimp in my live rock, he's so cool looking
me: You're so lucky man!
me: You're so lucky man!
by PatC September 22, 2005
Get the mantis shrimp mug.Used to describe one's physical position when seated next to a seat bitch on an airplane or bus. In the seated position -- Both elbows are centered in above the stomach and the hands remain above the elbows. This ensures that no part of the body is allowed, remains, or otherwise intrudes upon another's seating or personal space.
by Biatch551 September 18, 2005
Get the Praying Mantis mug.During sexual intercourse, while having a threesome, one man (engaging in vaginal sex) puts the woman in a full nelson while the other man (or woman) pulls on the legs of the first woman, causing enormous pain to the woman's vagina.
Me, Katie and Dave tried the Chinese Crying Mantis last night. Katie was screaming her fucking head off!
by Will and jjj August 19, 2008
Get the Chinese Crying Mantis mug.by Sarafg December 15, 2011
Get the Mantress mug.An awesome my singing monsters YouTube with a fanbase mostly consisting of toxic fanboys and fangirls and brain-dead toddlers
by TotalRandomness62 July 15, 2020
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