Drunken Kleptomania

Waking up hungover after a heavy night of drinking, often including blackouts and puking the superb act of being trashed - awakening to find a bunch of items that you don't actually own, on your drawers.

These are drunk trophies, memorabilia from the night before. Unfortunately as you pick them up the memories often don't come back, why do I have this mascara set on my desk? Whose keys are these? Why is this screw driver here?

If you've asked any of these questions you have been a victim (or more so abuser) of Drunken Kleptomania. Simply put, drunken kleptomania is a state in which you steal shit and bring it back, but you were drunk, so drunk in fact that you don't remember how you procured said shit.

FACT: 67% of men have participated in drunken kleptomania.

John woke up, it was Sunday - Bloody Sunday he thought as his head felt like someone was putting it in a vice set like in Casino, only this was a four-way pressure clusterfuck squeezing the scrambled mess of hungover brains. His eyes burned as he let out a mighty grunt. Suddenly his eyes opened a bit wider, the pain subsiding as a subtle "What the fuck" blurted out.

There he clumsily stood, gawking at what was his room. He noticed the new construction sign that was broken through the dry wall. The lipstick that was on the bureau and the amassed set of keys. He examined the keys and lipstick with peculiar intrigue...

"Wha, When the fuck did I get this?"

The memories from last night were not coming back, He remembered leaving the party, and the beer bong an hour before that, but nothing in between or after. Just then his roommate came into the room.

"Dude, you were so fucked last night..."

Little did John know, but he had participated in the greatest robbery, the largest collection of Drunken Kleptomania since 1974.

by Jimblor April 7, 2009

Drake Curse

drake drake curse

What happens when Drake shows up in your hometown, wearing your team's jersey, and takes pics with your players. Can only be broken with a corresponding appearance by Pusha T or Meek Mill.

"I hope Drake don't show up to tonight's game. We don't want the Drake curse!"

by marksandranks April 18, 2019

drake ass nigga

someone who acts like a cake; very into their emotions and are almost always thinking about their exes.

Example:
Guy: Damn ever since Phil's girl dumped him he's been such a Drake ass nigga.

Guy2: I know man yesterday he tried going to the Doctor for a broken heart.

by NWTS October 7, 2013

Drake hand

When someone is trying to give you some bullshit and you need to stop them... simply hold your right arm straight out with left hand on your chest... Then stiffly shake your right hand... and simply say, "nah."

Becky tried to sneak in late, but I knew that hoe was out at the club... So I gave her the drake hand to stop her bullshit.

by Shitshow April 4, 2015

Drunken recall

When you learn something while drunk and can't remember what you learned until you get drunk again.

sober guy: Damn I can't remember the way we were drunk last time

Drunk guy: Don't worry I remember how to get there, with Drunken recall

by 0ushiza February 6, 2010

draked and joshed

When You hook up with a friend who you have no interest in just because your bored.

Audrie and Harry draked and joshed

by AandD2017 January 19, 2017

Getting Draked Up

The process of uplifting the spirits and improving your mood while listening to the lyrics and beats of Drake's (Aubrey Graham) music.
Similar to a feeling of being high.

Mel: Hey, I just bought "Thank Me Later," wanna get Draked up tonight?

Leah: Hell yeah.

Steve: What's going on tonight?

Leah: We're getting Draked up, son.

by drizzy wife March 4, 2011