squat cobbler

The act of sitting in a pie (whilst clothed or unclothed) in a manner to arouse or stimulate pleasure.
(first seen in Better Call Saul)

James: Man, Dan is a pretty good Squat Cobbler, but sometimes he cries when he does it.

by AttackOnPoke July 27, 2016

squat cobbler

When a man sits in a pie and wiggles around.

Also known as a full moon moon pie.

Mr. Wormhole's baseball cards were stolen, along with his squat cobbler videos.

by zomgx3 September 3, 2016

Hoboken Squat Cobbler

Someone who takes videos of himself squatting naked on a pie, preferably of the cream type variety, and masturbating much to the delight of his intended viewer.

He's in the other room making a video with a pie. He's a Hoboken Squat Cobbler.

by Yankwood August 29, 2016

squat cobbler

An act, normally performed on video, intended to titillate the senses. This act is technically a fetish, but (and this is important) it is NOT ILLEGAL! Squat Cobbler involves a fully clothed man, all by himself, who sits in a pie and wiggles around. The more extreme varieties of this lewd act is known as "Cry Baby Squat Cobbler", or "Cry Baby Squat" for short, which involves tears. Usually, the more tears, the more taboo it is considered to be, and to a certain audience, more desirable.

The term originates from the eastern United States where it is commonly called "Hoboken Squat Cobbler" and, like Hellman's Mayonnaise, is called something different west of the Rocky Mountains.

In the midwest it is simply referred to as "pie sitting"

See also full moon moon pie boston crème splat simple simon the ass man dutch apple ass pie sitting Hoboken squat cobbler

Jeff came over and was paid handsomely to perform the Hoboken squat cobbler into a still hot dutch apple pie.

The man does a mean and quite sexy squat cobbler. There are tears, and lots of wriggling! He even wears a batman costume!

by pseudonymnonominon July 29, 2016

squat cobbler

When a grown man sits in a pie... For sexual gratification

Oh my god Michael!! That's an incredible example of the squat cobbler....

by Baldy64 August 17, 2016

squat cobbler

Fetish. A squat cobbler is a person who sits in pie in order to sexually arouse a partner. Often, a squat cobbler will wear a costume and/or cry while performing the fetish. See also: Full Moon Pie, Boston Crème Splat.

Roger enjoyed treating his partner with increasingly elaborate squat cobbler performances, but unfortunately his dwindling budget for premium pies and laundry fees put a damper on the fun.

by w. munny August 20, 2016

squat cobbler

A person who sits in a fruit filled pie for sexual pleasure.

Ernie was so enchanted as he watched his squat cobbler wife squat in her warm apple pie.

by Crafty Trafty August 17, 2016