dead on my own schedule

When you make plans to do something with someone else, but when the time comes you're still asleep.

"Thanks, Karina. I really appreciate it."
"No problem. Now, go to sleep, we leave tomorrow."

You wake up, and head to Karina's room. She's still asleep.
"Karina," you say, shaking her by the shoulder.
"Huh? Wha? Huh?" she says, waking up.
"It's time to go. We're leaving today."
"Finally. I'm fucking dead on my own schedule."

by Fizar June 12, 2020

Robe Schedule

A particularly work schedule defined by a high degree of remote/telecommuting, flex time, and having considerably fewer working hours than the universally accepted 40-hour work week. The name comes from workers generally wearing (bath) robes during their working hours, since they're often conducting business from home.

Popularized mostly by developers, writers, and other professionals who are able to work remotely and do not require to be physically present in order to do their jobs, and who also generally produce no more than 4-5 hours of creative work per day.

Famous examples of people on the Robe Schedule include: Stephen King, Hugh Hefner, Tim Ferris, and several others.

Edward's performance has clearly improved since hopping on a robe schedule last year.

I dream of the day when I can get on a robe schedule and stop going to these endless, pointless meetings!

by Snedward March 15, 2019

Different Schedules

The occurrence of when the girl is wet, but the guy isn’t hard. Then when a guy gets hard, but the girl isn’t wet.

“Alright, turn over.”
“Oh, now you decide to get rock hard?”

“Ugh, we’re just on different schedules”

by urbansplatt July 20, 2019

James sleep schedule

A motherfucker I know who is fucking vampire is who gets no godamn sleep.

Man you got to have the James sleep schedule for that

by Ass clapper Nigga July 31, 2025

Schedule

A piece of paper that determines where an employee will be and when.

My secretary schedules whores to come to my house and fuck me. I'm so good with women I don't even have to go out to meet them. My social skills were cripples at birth but I can still talk my way into a girl's pants. So long as someone calls them, adds them to the schedule of the group home I have to live in because ime retarded, and tell them that I'm exempt from the rules regarding molesting the mentally disabled clients. You could try to claim they aren't whores but unless they just aren't getting paid for a shift they took and agreed to take to go sit on a fat retard cock then they are getting paid to fuck a retard. I mean at the end of the shift it's $50 and that's about exactly as much as it costs for a half and half from a prostitute. It can't be a coincidence.

by Hym Iam December 4, 2020

The Schedule

DC Schedule

Thursday: Think about going to Opera, end up at Gelman Library bull shitting with everyone

Friday: Malmaison for pre-drinks, then Cities around 12:30

Saturday: Somehow ends at Mint somehow, then Shadows at 1am

Steak n Egg is also mandatory after leaving a night club

Person X: Whats the plan for tonight?
Person Y: Look at The Schedule
Person X: Shadow it is

by Jaghi December 12, 2013

college schedule

Word schedule where you actually work zero hours for your boss because you tell him you have fake college classes to attend.

I’m not working this week because I’m on a college schedule at work.

by Fakes in GA December 17, 2017