Rhode Island Traffic Report

Something so fucking predictable they could just record it and play the same tape over and over every day. It's always exactly the same, and ignores anything not within a 2-mile radius of the center of Providence.

"95 North is slow between Thurber's Avenue and the State Offices Exit, 195-westbound is backed up from Broadway to the I-95 split, 95 South is slow from Atwells Avenue to the 146-merge, 146 South you're on your brakes from Admiral Street to the 95 merge, and the 6-10 Connector is backed up to Dean Street...I'm Jim Stearns with your Wheelock Auto Rhode Island Traffic Report."

by JustAnotherGuy March 8, 2010

Progress Reports

When the school you curently attend decides to fuck with you and sends all your bad grades home so your parents can bitch at you.

Mom: "Oh, look! A letter!"
Kid: "Noooo!"
Mom: "I wonder what...OH FUCK! GET IN YOUR FUCKING ROOM AND GODDAMN STUDY!"
Kid: "Fucking progress reports..."

by boredlikehell34 December 19, 2008

rebortion

an act wherein a child rejects his or her parents; the counter of an abortion; see: college

Mom, Dad it's been a tough decision, but . . I want a rebortion.

by adevne October 19, 2010

This problem was caused by Windows. This program was created by Microsoft Corporation. Microsoft Corporation does not currently have a solution for the problem that you reported.

The most common, if not the only message you will see when linking to Microsoft's "solution pages" after using the error reportingfeature

Example: When my PC couldn't play music due to a "missing audio device error" I linked to this message screen.
So I went looking on message boards for similar issue and found one. The person posted about how Microsoft had nothing.
That forum entry was posted two YEARS before.

Me: Oh cool! I can just link to Microsoft's solution page! How convenient....

This problem was caused by Windows. This program was created by Microsoft Corporation. Microsoft Corporation does not currently have a solution for the problem that you reported.

Me: You've got to be kidding. Oh Cool! Windows has a built-in help program....

by Lig Na Baste January 16, 2008

Report Card

The source of all nightmares for kids, generally containing mostly C's when the student has promised his parents good marks.

"Timmy, how did you do," Asked the mother curiously.
"Oh...right... Remember how how you told me you loved me yesterday, before these report cards existed...?

by Vlad E. September 27, 2009

swing report

n.: a private diary kept by a swinging couple. The diary maintains partner names, dates, and locations as well as brief descriptions of explicit sexual encounters with anonymous partners. The entries may also include "likes" and "dislikes" of certain prospective partners, in order to gain a competitive edge on the group at future swing parties.

"Melanie and I read one of our swing reports from the 2005 fiscal year...and you would not believe how much we spent on anal-related costs and mergers!"

by Dr. Josephus February 28, 2009

reported

Said in response to a post, comment or action that is against the rules of whatever game or forum the conversation took place.
Most notably, the game World of Warcraft.
Sticking a period at the end adds finality, and is optional.

Usually, it's just a joke.

A: I hate niggers
B: reported.

C: Hey, you're not allowed to do that, stop it.
B: make me
C: reported.

by JyL. September 27, 2005