Douche Canoe

An expression used to describe someone who is extremely stupid and infuriating.

1. Molly: My boyfriend was pressuring me into sex last night.

Shannon: What a douche canoe!

2. Ethan: My mom is being a douche canoe, she won’t let me smoke pot in my room.

by Thomanthan Bosley September 29, 2020

Douche Canoe

A giant douche bottle you ride like a horse in the water and squeeze your thighs to power it through the douche nozzle.

"I rode my douche canoe down the river and my thighs are so sore"

by Douchewhisperer June 28, 2022

Douche Canoe

A very stupid, annoying and mean person. Usually anonymous hate people on Tumblr, and have no life. They are silly and not needed in this world.

"Did you say you were getting anon hate on tumblr?" "Yeah, they're douche canoes."

by AceCakeEater. September 30, 2012

Douche Canoe

A hat worn by an abnormally large douche bag. Usually an Ed Hardy hat or an old man hat worn by anyone under the age of 60.

Look at all those assholes in their douche canoes.

by First Mate Shrivelnuts September 11, 2009

Douche canoe

A piece of feces, frozen, then used as a dildo.

I heard Violet is a nasty ho and used a douche canoe at a party in front of everyone.

by Err78 January 13, 2008

Double Douche Canoe

Someone who is up shits creek with a turd for a paddle yet takes no responsibility for their situation and find the need to blame everyone else for their predicament.

You're a real double douche canoe.

by harlequinxx July 30, 2010

American douche canoe

An American "douche canoe" is the finest of human beings. Riding above a sea of douche you humanity, an American douche canoe stays above the fray; poised, stately, noble. A true American hero

josh and tom always looked up to Adam, the ultimate American douche canoe. He was everything they wanted to be, but could never be. It was both amazing for them and very very sad.

by Italian Beaver August 19, 2017