crank

An amalgamation of 'crap' and 'wank', usually to describe a rather mediocre or rushed session of masturbation.

1. I had to slip a crank before the wife got home

2. (typical speech from the bathroom during cranking) Don't worry love, I'll be down in a minute. Literally.

3. Boy, you keep cranking like that and it'll drop off

by axer_89 May 29, 2008

crank

To cry whilst wanking, often occuring when a person has taken a drug such as ecstacy, cocaine or crystal meth and then returned home alone after clubbing where, whilst sitting on the end of his bed he realises the futility and lonliness of his life and can't help but add to his feeling of worthlessness by struggling to maintain an erection whilst having a long hard wank.

I went home after the club and cranked myself into a coma

by wormstir December 9, 2008

crank

to cry and wank simultaneously

feeling sexy on a sad day
*cranks*

by aaron1234567 August 5, 2008

Crank

Cry wank

Person 1 "oh look there's Dave cranking into a pool of his own tears"
Person 2 "Yeah he does that"

by The Gadd September 20, 2015

crank

To crank is to wank and cry simultaneously. The tears can be used as lubricant. Cranking is most commonly done when a relationship has just ended.

"I had a crank two hours ago" "My boyfriend just dumped me, I really need a crank" "I saw you cranking last night" "You're a cranker" "Your mum just caught me cranking" "Don't sit on that sofa, I had a drunken crank there when I got back last night"

by Sarah Williams June 25, 2008

crank

Street slang for a low purity crystal meth. You can snort, eat, drink (when mixed with liquids), smoke, or inject it.

Kanon smokes a lot of fucking crank

by Priestzzz October 6, 2018

crank

A mentally self destructive action carried out by emos.

Involves crying and wanking at the same time.

I need to take a crank.
I can hear you crying, you better not be taking a crank.

by TREX6662k5 April 12, 2007