waiter's nightmare

A bad dream experienced by persons who wait tables for a living. The details in the dream may vary, but the one constant of all waiters nightmares is a full station (assigned tables) of unhappy customers (or members if the establishment is a private club). A common WN is arriving late at work and finding your station already full to capacity. Another common one is not being able to get organized, and realizing you have forgotten to turn in an order to the kitchen for a table that has been waiting a long time. Coming out of the kitchen with a tray of entrees and dropping it on the floor is a favorite. One of the more disturbing waiters nightmares is having a large table of people, or maybe even more than one table in the party, and after waiting for what seems like hours for their food to come up, and it's like midnight and all other customers and wait staff are long gone, and you go into the kitchen to check on your food, and all the cooks have cleaned up the kitchen and left, and didn't make your table's food.

Anybody who has worked as a server is familiar with the waiter's nightmare

by Woody Thomas December 11, 2009

Sniper's Nightmare

Used to describe a person who walks with their entire body moving side to side since they typically have one dead leg. The phrase “Sniper’s Nightmare” alludes to the difficulty a sniper would have in assassinating them if they were the intended victim.

“Old Sloppy Tony is a total sniper's nightmare the way he walks!”

by gary69_ August 30, 2022

The Atheist's Nightmare

The idea proposed by that asshat Ray Comfort that the banana proves God's existence.

"Behold! The Atheist's Nightmare! I have a banana! It proves God exists!"

"Behold! The Theist's Nightmare! I have a pineapple! It proves God doesn't exist!"

by Danny Salamander July 20, 2009

fireman's nightmare

A woman of such ugliness that her features appear to have been burned and badly repaired by a plastic surgeon who has been struck off in 30 countries. The type of serious facial skin burns that firemen have nightmares about.

'Struth, did you see her face? A proper fireman's nightmare!

by The Xmas Grinch January 13, 2015

Janitor's Nightmare

Also commonly known as the Infield Fly, the Janitor's Nightmare consists of taking a shit in a urinal. Although complicated, the logistics are somewhat reasonable when rationed with.

It helps to accomplish the J.N. with a lookout, to keep an eye out for other possible rest-roomers as well as said janitor.

kid1: "Hey man, you got 20 minutes? I need a favor."

kid2: "Depends... what?"

kid1: "Janitor's Nightmare, 3rd floor?"

kid2: "Done."

by Derik September 21, 2005

sniper's nightmare

A very, very thin person.

"Look at that Paris Hilton! She's a sniper's nightmare!"

by afei February 12, 2004

Schrodinger's Nightmare

Based on Umberto Eco's list for recognizing facism, "The enemy is both weak and strong.", Schrodinger's Nightmare is where the enemy is both your worst nightmare and just a dream that can easily be controlled and eliminated, depending on whether the rhetoric wants the population to be considered awake and alert to the problems, or asleep and caught unaware.

The enemy exists in an undefined nightmare state, where they could present a mortal danger or could be weak and ineffective, depending on which one is desired for the rhetoric. Though people or groups can have both strengths and weaknesses, Schrodinger's Nightmare rhetoric is not interested in what those strengths and weaknesses are, or anything factual for that matter; instead, it invents extremes for terrorizing the population, to drive fear and hatred into them.

Awake and alert: "So we have these carrot-eaters, who want carrots to be the only food. Obviously no one can survive only on carrots. I think natural selection will sort out these weaklings pretty quick."
Asleep and caught unaware: "Carrot-eaters swarmed a grocery store in the early morning hours, when parents were taking their kids to school, overwhelming the grocery staff with their 'carrots only' picket signs and disrupting a mother who was trying to get some quick breakfast for her kid, the pair already running late to get to school."
"With it made clear the lengths these carrots-only freaks will go to in their crusade, it's clear we're living in a real Schrodinger's Nightmare. When are people going to wake up and do something? They're destroying everything. And remember, they are weak, they aren't getting the right nutrition. It won't be challenging to take them out."

by last_days_of_pompyeye October 14, 2019