Squat Cobbler 

A sexual act wherein a fully-clothed, typically costumed subject pulls his/her pants down and squats the exposed buttocks down into a pie and wiggles around while being observed or filmed. Commonly associated with fetishists.

Synonyms: Hoboken Squat Cobbler, Full Moon Pie, Boston Cream Splat, Simple Simon the Ass Man, Dutch Apple Ass.

Variants: Crybaby Squat Cobbler, in which the subject cries while performing the act.

Dee: "What the hell is a Squat Cobbler??"
Jay: "It's when a man sits in pie. He sits... in a pie. And he... wiggles around."

Squat Cobbler by SeamusOLanigan May 20, 2016

squat cobbler 

An act (frequently sexual in nature) that isn't illegal but is so embarrassing that one will go to great lengths (even lying to the police) to keep it a secret. The term originated on the TV series "Better Call Saul" in reference to a specific sexual act, but may be used to describe any action that's considered embarrassing.

Detective 1: So, fully clothed Mr. Wormald by himself doing what?
Detective 2: Yeah, come on, man. What?
Jimmy McGill: sighs Squat cobbler.
Detective 1: What's a s-squat cobbler?
Jimmy McGill: Squat cobbler. You know what squat cobbler is.
Detective 1: No, I don't... I don't know what a squat cobbler is.
Detective 2: No, me neither. What is it?
Jimmy McGill: What? And you two guys are cops? Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass. Guys, am I not speaking English here?
Detective 1: What the hell is a squat cobbler?!
Jimmy McGill: It's when a man sits in pie! He sits in a pie! And he... he wiggles around. Maybe it's like Hellman's Mayonnaise. It has a different name west of the Rockies. I don't know. But, uh, technically, he does a crybaby squat, so there's tears, which makes it more specialized. Not all pie sitters cry. But I'm gonna tell you something: This guy? He's a regular Julianne Moore once he gets the waterworks cranked up.
Detective 2: Pies? What? Like apple?
Jimmy McGill: Guys, I'm not the filmmaker here, all right? Banana cream. I... uh, peach. Oh, and there... And there is a costume involved.
Detective 1: (snorts) You've got to be shittin' us.
Jimmy McGill: Yeah, like I would make this up. Hey, the world is a rich tapestry, my friends. But trust me on this. You don't want to see it.

squat cobbler by Logan Hawkes July 2, 2016

Squat Cobbler 

Squat Cobbler aka Hoboken Squat Cobbler

A type of fetish where "a man sits in pie, and wiggles around"

Videos of pie sitters are used for sexual arousal.
A costume is often involved.
Variation is a "crybaby squat" accompanied by tears, but not all pie sitter cry.

Also known as;

Boston Cream Splat
Full Moon moon pie
Simple Simon the Ass man
Dutch Apple Ass

First defined on S2Ep2 of Better Call Saul, where Jimmy McGill fabricates
it's usage to get a client off.

We always figured Pryce was a Squat Cobbler, he often had pie on the seat of his pants.

Squat Cobbler by Jaguart August 1, 2016

squat cobbler 

Sexual proclivity that the person(s) get aroused by sitting in a pie or person(s) getting aroused by watching someone sitting in a pie. Referenced by character Saul Goodman from the TV series "Better Call Saul".

Saul the attorney to the police officers "My client gets paid to produce a video that shows him ummmm sitting in a pie among other things" it's called Squat Cobbler.

squat cobbler by meaniemogg2 May 27, 2016

squat cobbler 

When a man sits in a pie, and wiggles himself around.

There are variations, such as crybaby squat which involves tears, and costume squat, where the man wears a costume of choice. There can be combinations of both, but not all pie sitters cry.

Also known as
Hoboken Squat Cobbler
Full Moon Moonpie
Boston Cream Splat
Simple Simon The Ass Man
Dutch Apple Ass

Tecnically they would be categorized as fetish videos, but nothing illegal. Just a man. A fully clothed man I might add, just all by himself. Just Mr. Wormald...Fully clothed....uh....yeah

Doing what?

Squat Cobbler

squat cobbler by Winchester1214 August 26, 2016

Squat Cobbler 

Derives from the AMC Original "Better Call Saul", which is the act of a fully clothed man sitting, and proceeding to rub the buttocks into a pie of choice, and occasionally crying, for the intent of sexual arousal.

To get out of questioning, I told them that you did a Squat Cobbler.

Squat Cobbler by AMCMcGill August 31, 2016

squat cobbler 

Squat Cobbler: (skwät ka-blēr)

The fetishized act of a man who sits in pie(s). Particular attention is given to the man's clothed/costumed buttocks and the specific "wiggling around" gyrations that are made once the man has sufficiently mounted the pastry.

Squat cobbling and it's variants are designed to titillate the senses and are often stored on various forms of digital media. Specialist squat cobblers, such as "crybaby squat cobblers", (a male who sits in pie while crying like a baby) are rare but in very high demand amongst pie sitting hobbyists.

(Squat cobbler videos will always feature a fully clothed or costumed man, who's pie sitting and wiggling of the buttocks will always be performed within all legal boundaries.)

AKA: "Hoboken Squat Cobbler", "Boston Cream Splat", "Full Moon Pie" and the oft requested "Dutch Apple Ass"

I stopped going on fullcreamahead.org for watching squat cobbler vids dude... I found a guy who will do custom dutch-apple-ass squat cobbling movies and only accepts baseball cards as payment bro!

squat cobbler by Russell. D.Jimmz August 19, 2016