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As pissed as a newt 

Too drunk to walk straight. Reference to the natural wobbling gait of a newt.

See also newted, pissed and As nissed as a pewt
As pissed as a newt by ud40 March 11, 2005

Pissed As A Newt

Used by one when suitably refreshed. After a heavy night out on the pop.
George: What up gangsta, where was you last night playa? we was frettin' what.
Phil: 'Old up G, me was tryin to find ya, only i was pissed as a newt innit, and so i found me a ho to poke and headed to her's.
George: Resteckpa!
Pissed As A Newt by 'Mad' Davey C September 7, 2006

Pissed as a Newt

When someone’s had one too many Guinness
Oh that Ethan, he is pissed as a newt