Kochaine is a highly addictive substance derived from the rare and toxic Koch parasite, cousin to thefairly common North American Kochroach. Kochaine is harvested from the manure of obscenely wealthy
billionaires. Kochaine abuse destroys lives and frequent use leads to erratic, zombie-like behavior, turning addicts into "koch-heads". Side effects may include
selective hearing, partial blindness,
delusions of grandeur and criminal impulses.