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shit-cock wasted 

Spectacularly, mind-bogglingly, awe-inspiringly drunk. Far beyond drunk, blitzed, wasted, or cocked, you are now pushing the very limits of man's capacity for alcohol consumption.
"Yo man, my head really hurts. What the hell happened last night?"

"Dude, you were shit-cock wasted."

Cockwashed 

It’s like your brainwashed by a cock

When the Dick is so good it is all you can think about
Amanda was so cockwashed by Jason’s big girthy thundercock that she offered to cook every meal for him so she could suck and fuck him multiple times a day.

Cockpasted 

Covering a surface entirely with cum
Damn bro, $NFLX got cockpasted this week
Cockpasted by OctagonalDilk April 30, 2022

cockwaste 

A person or institution that has the potential to be very helpful but instead fails; instead of "Creating or changing a life", they just become "jizz on your face".
1. The cop who responded to the 911 call but went to the wrong address and shot the family dog is a real cockwaste.

2. After I paid my bill in full, the billing department still sent me to collections; that office is a bunch of cockwastes.
cockwaste by isaycake August 10, 2016