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schaeffer 

pronounced "shay fur"
1.the prime example of an emo child with no problems except fitting a very small snickers bar into a pair of tight pants.
"hey why are you crying on the floor about that paper cut? ur such a schaeffer"
schaeffer by loverdimond February 19, 2010

Schaeffer 

Man who thinks highly of himself and his butthole he always touches little boys, somtimes masturbting in class.somtimes having sex with kirby.old saggy balls.
come here little boys, (kirby) mk schaeffer
Schaeffer by chad90000 May 2, 2008

schaeffer’s new zealand deck sealant 

An ad done by a New Zealand guy who keeps talking about his deck but it sounds like he’s saying dick
“Hey, get that squirrel off my dick! He knows he’s not allowed to come on my dick!” Quote Schaeffer’s New Zealand Deck Sealant guy

Schaeffer Academy 

A private, classical christian school in Minnesota. Students that attend Schaeffer are often called Schaefferites and know each other fairly well. Schaefferites are defined by their ability to write, but not speak Latin fluently. This is considered a useless skill by most within the school. The school forces students to wear uniforms, but allows the occasional mufti (this is a highly celebrated and anticipated event) day. Students who graduate from Schaeffer will for certain know these five things:

1. The yearbook password for the computer lab

2. Every student and their cousin's name

3. The Apostle's Creed

4. Who Francis Schaeffer is

5. Notitia, Assensus, Fiducia

To reprimand students, teachers will give out demerits. This is a pointless piece of paper de- meriting the students actions. No one cares about them, well, except for a few people.

Finally, three things Schaeffer graduates will never understand are...
1. Why we can't chew gum.

2. What white rabbit really means and why we always say it...
3. Why we can't have our end of the year water fight anymore.

*Non schaefferites will often spell Schaeffer like Shaffer or schaffer...this is how you spot a wannabe.
I learned Latin at Schaeffer Academy for 6 years, and I still can't speak it!
Schaeffer Academy by imonasafari September 27, 2011

schaeffer academy 

private christian school that contains one all dictating person who steals guys but otherwise its ok. and theres a fetal pig in the wall btw.
i used to go to schaeffer academy but now i dont

ashley schaeffer 

This term refers to a gratuitous back-handed pop in the testicles, as delivered by Ashley Schaeffer to Kenny Powers in the HBO series Eastbound and Down.

It is ordinarily considered bad form to give an ashley schaeffer under most circumstances, however, this rule tends to loosen when excessive amounts of alcohol are added to the equation. It is often hypothesized that male drinking buddies who regularly execute the ashley schaeffer may suffer from unrequited homosexual desires. Either that, or they just have a really sadistic sense of humor. Either way, the ashley schaeffer is rarely funny to the recipient.
The church pastor failed to see the humor in my quick and ruthless delivery of an ashley schaeffer to his holy ballsack. Maybe I should have waited until the sermon was over.