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Processed meat 

The act of masturbating, but instead of already being horny and just feeling like a wank, you have to touch yourself a lot just to achieve a boner. Thus, the achievement of an erection and subsequent ejaculation is wholly manufactured and processed, unlike the natural, and far more common "horny wank", customarily used to alleviate "blue balls". This processed meat is often called a "cold wank".
Dude A: I was so bored last night, I had some processed meat.

Dude B: Ah man, unlucky.
Processed meat by shaneo632 October 4, 2008
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processed meat 

Oral gratification of a man's genitalia. Getting Head. Receiving a blowjob.
I was in the back room gettin some processed meat by this one bitch.

She's hella good, she'll process yo meat my nigguh.
processed meat by stray bullitts January 16, 2009

pressed meat sandwich 

That ex girlfriend that you know is toxic. But she comes around... it’s getting smashed
That Jenny is a real pressed meat sandwich.

meat processor 

I hooked up with Jill last night. Every guy gets a turn inside that meat processor.
meat processor by P1624 April 28, 2023