Johned 

A term frequently used in Norse mythology dating back to the age of Thrain. It was said that one could only become Johned if they were truly two Peters. The equation of 2 peters equaling a John is still highly challenged in certain academic circles.

- I was so Johned last night I became a Peter.

Johned by 2 Peters = John September 19, 2015

Johned 

Very strong, huge muscles.

Look at his muscles! He looks johned!

Johned by Philad February 1, 2010

johned 

tryign to cut in line by yelling out the name john like you are looking for someone but really you are jsut cutting in line

ima john my way up to the front

damn man those kids just johned the whole line

johned by R()$$ April 24, 2004

Johned 

Getting scissors shoved up your nose paintfully and slowly getting nose hair pulled out.

Child: "Hey dude, my dad's brother got Johned yesterday."
Other child: "lmao epic"

Johned by Mr. Fat nose idiot February 12, 2020

Johned 

When someone orders food but that someone isn't there in time to pick it up.

"Goosh, I really Johned that pizza, didn't I?"

Johned by Einerstürmf December 13, 2016

Johned 

To mess up frequently in cases particularity to spelling, grammar, and attracting females.

Guy #1: Look at that guy, he just got denied by that girl.
Guy #2: Ya, he totally johned up.

Johned by Monica Marcone April 6, 2017

Johned 

To be completely and utterly obliterated, typically by way of an incredibly forceful skull fucking.

Holy shit man, Eric just got fucking Johned into pink mist!

Person #1: Did you see that Johnning last night?
Person #2: Yeah dude, I haven't seen somebody get Johned like that since Brad got his eyeball ripped out and the empty socket fucked with a 12-incher.

Johned by SleepySap May 8, 2017