Agile 

Agile is a generalized term for a group of anti-social behaviors used by office workers to avoid doing any work while simultaneously giving the appearance of being insanely busy. Agile methods include visual distraction, subterfuge, camouflage, psycho-babble, buzzwords, deception, disinformation, and ritual humiliation. It has nothing to do with the art and practice of software engineering.

That crap was built using Agile.

Worker A: Couldn't we be a bit more Agile?
Worker B: How?
Worker A: Let's order pizza at the Kanban.

Agile by ALT-F4 November 28, 2012

Agile 

Organized mind numbing micromanagement.

He figured out how to double the battery life but since the agile practice strictly forbids thinking outside the current task, his design wasn't acknowledged. Due to insubordination he will not be receiving a bonus this year.

Agile by nuninthemorning October 21, 2018

Agile 

Doesn't fucking work, but doesn't fucking matter.

Let's be agile on this project.

Agile by SgtThursday November 5, 2019

agile 

(verb) To work on something when you don't understand the problem space, the market, the actual goal of the product or really any engineering at all.

Engineer 1: They want me to build an inverse flux capcitor for our new marketing theme.

Engineer 2: Man that sucks, what are you doing to do? Don't they know the IFC is a joke?

Engineer 1: Well I guess I'll just have to scrum and agile one up.

agile by A.Hacker October 14, 2005

agile 

The ability to waste a year making a social networking site.

Pretending to write code when just copying it from else while to save time and effort.

Basically another word for someone that can use google, steal other people's work then pretend what they are doing is difficult to management.

I am really good at agile developement.

Look at this great search engine I have made, its the same as the one on another site - but with more bugs.

agile by Simon Telfer February 5, 2008

Agile 

Agile means to move quickly ; easily. Using any motions. The word, "Agile" can be a hard word to pronounce to most people.

I knew I had to be agile when it comes to races.

Agile by AnnsHuynh November 11, 2018

agile methodology 

No one has a clue what this means. Companies use the term to make themselves look organized and modern, employees use it because companies do. Many companies who claim to use agile actually use the waterfall approach and do not know the difference.

Interviewer asked, "Have you ever used the agile methodology?"
Job candidate replied, "Yes of course."
Interviewer responds, "Good! I think I have all I need."

-------------10 minutes later------------------------
Interviewer speaking to co-worker, "He actually knows what agile methodology is! We need to hire him!"
co-worker responded, "What the fuck is agile?"
"I don't have a fucking clue so we need this guy"

agile methodology by Nutzen YerMouf May 9, 2018