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oh my penis 

It is the same as "Oh my god!". Except it is less offensive to religious people. And it sounds better!
"Oh my Penis, we had an orgy last night?"

buttle my penis 

A reference to Family Guy season 10 episode 1 where the Griffins win the lottery and Peter gets his own penis butler. AKA the act of servicing one's penis the way a butler would.
"Alright, buttle my penis. BUTTLE IT!"
buttle my penis by Cobread May 5, 2016

Holy shit my penis is exploding 

The act of male genetalia detonating as a result of sexual intercourse (ejaculation), or C4.
Holy shit my penis is exploding

*while having sex* Girl my penis just exploded!
OR
*boom*

On a scale of one to my penis?

A question you ask when you want to know how hard it is raining/ snowing, ect.
Billy : Hey Carol, is it raining?
Carol: Why yes Billy it is.
Billy: Oh really? How hard on a scale of one to my penis?

suck my penis tonight? 

When you are feeling really horny, and you want your dick sucked, but... you want it sucked TONIGHT
Daddy - Please sugar momma suck my penis
Sugar Momma - Sorry i dont speak english. Yes i can suck your penis
Daddy - NO SUCK IT TONIGHT. PLEASE SUCK MY PENIS TONIGHT?
Sugar Momma - *Gets ready for some action* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH YES I WILL SUCK YOUR PENIS TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Daddy - *Unleashes ultimate power*
Sugar Momma - *Sucks hard*

Touch my penis

Go on, touch it. It won't bite.
Touch my penis by Anonymous May 6, 2003