I have to text my pig

A modern version of "I have to wash my hair" or "I have to sort my sock drawer"; an obvious excuse and serious blow off that can be employed when standing in front of the person asking you to do something you don't want to do.

Girl: So we're going to Bar 123 after this; do you want to come with us?
Guy: Aw, I would but I have to text my pig.

I have to text my pig by KK70 July 17, 2011

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I have to shit

What you say when you have to shit.
(Usually happens in a bathroom on a toilet)

Dude 1: I have to shit
Dude 2: Thats good to know..

I have to shit by KalebRunnells January 16, 2009

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what does that have to do with a price of eggs in china

When someone says something completely irrelevant.

Jo: Gas in Mexico is $1.70 per gallon.
BOB: what does that have to do with a price of eggs in china. (They live in Tennessee)

what does that have to do with a price of eggs in china by LA777 May 14, 2015

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I have to work tonight

A phrase that a depressed person utters when his/her friends are inviting them to do something fun. It can be used as an excuse for getting out of doing something shitty, or, it's most commonly just a sad, honest response to the invitation.

Gary: Hey man, let's go watch monday night football tonight, then we can go play some intramural flag football afterwords.

Steve: I have to work tonight.

Gary: Wow, you must be depressed.

I have to work tonight by JoeyRogue77 October 5, 2009