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Calling the wife 

when a traumatic event occurs or when one has a near death experience a call to the spouse is required shortly afterwards to explain what happened.
-Dude did you see that?
-See what?
-That guy almost got hit by a car!
-Oh yea, he'll be calling the wife!
Calling the wife by T D1ddy March 15, 2011

calling the deer 

The yelling/groaning/shouting sound one makes when vomiting his/her guts up from a night of excessive drinking.
"After we got home from the bar last night, I was calling the deer until, like, 5:00a.m. It was rough."

"I know, dude. I think everybody west of the Mississippi could hear you."
calling the deer by J. Grizzle November 10, 2013

Calling the Kremlin 

Q: Where’s Steve?

A: He’s calling the Kremlin.

Q: Hope he lights a match in there. We had burritos for lunch.

Calling the boys cute 

It is not gay to call one of the boys cute or handsome; however, if u say “ I wanna fuck him” then it is gay.
Ben thinks calling the boys cute gay.

Pot calling the kettle black

Hipocricy
Zoned out daughter who has just unknowingly won the world record finishing a bowl of spaghetti-
hey dad, stop slurping.....
All round great dad- well....that's the 'Pot Calling The Kettle Black'

Calling the beagle 

at some point in the past, Andrew Secunda, celebrity co-host of Star Trek: the next conversation podcast, went to a dog show with an ex-girlfriend. At the beginning of the show, he said that the beagle was going to win and ultimately he was right.

This story has been told time and time again with no recollection of ever having being told in the past. Because of this, the phrase “calling the beagle“ has been used to reference stories which are told multiple times by a person without any recollection of the story ever being told before.
“and then I said…”

“Yeah I know what you said. You’re calling the beagle.”