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Like sticking one way signs on both ends of the road 

Completely fuckin pointless
"Why did you hoover the floor and then sweep it? "

"That's like sticking one way signs on both ends of the road"

i'd rather drive on the left side of the road 

means that you would rather drive into oncoming traffic then to do something
ugly person : wanna kiss??
me : i'd rather drive on the left side of the road 🙄

Back in 1991 I saw a guy driving down the road who owned one. 

Greg Snyder was witness to one of the most key moments of 1991. It was back in 1991 when he saw a guy driving down the road who owned one. Greg went on to state his claim for all to see on social media. He didn’t care who believed him. A man of principle and character, a gentleman and a scholar.
Whoa, look at that sweet 1988 Chrysler Conquest TSI!!
Back in 1991 I saw a guy driving down the road who owned one.

one for the road 

1) Something given to someone when that person is leaving so that he or she may enjoy it during the trip home.

2) The act of shooting jizz in a girl's eye and then leaving quickly during the ensuing confusion.
1)
"Say, this party is swell but my mother says I must return home by ten o'clock. It's a darn shame though, that apple juice you're serving here is terrific."
"Gee, buddy, I'm really sorry you have to leave so soon. Here, take a cup of juice for the road."

2)
The bitch was giving me a mean hummer, but I had to be going, so I shot off a couple in her mouth and then pulled out and left her with one for the road.
one for the road by Nick D February 16, 2004

tell it to the one-legged man, so he can bump it down the road! 

"you suck"
"tell it to the one-legged man, so he can bump it down the road!"

tell it to the one-legged man, so he can bump it down the road! 

guy 1 -he said "tell it to the one-legged man, so he can bump it down the road!"

guy 2 -he is the man!