spit on the floor and call the dog a bastard 

Make yourself at home, get comfortable, act like you own the place, mi casa es su casa. An exclamation of welcome.

Hey, welcome to my house. Sit down, make yourself comfortable, spit on the floor and call the dog a bastard.

spit on the floor and call the dog a bastard by Zadok the Priest March 9, 2008

call the fish on the phone

A fishing technique where an old hand crank telephone has it's wires cut and in the water. When the fisherman turns the crank, the wires electrify the water and makes the fish rise to the surface. Use of this technique is highly illegal and extremely dangerous.

My friend: Hey boss the fish ain't biting.
Me: Looks like we're gonna have to call the fish on the phone!
My friend: What is that?
Me: I'm gonna put these cables in the water and turn the crank.

Moments later

My friend: What the f*ck? The fish are rising!
Me: All you have to do now is scoop them up with a net!

call the fish on the phone by CountryFriedGoods December 8, 2010

shit on my dick and call me mason 

used when surprised by what a gay person says.

shane: my boyfriend and i had great anal last night.
brittany: shit on my dick and call me mason! thts is discusting!

shit on my dick and call me mason by britt69chels August 23, 2011

Call the fire department cause my kitty on fire 

Another variant of hot pussy

"Someone call the fire department cause my kitty on fire." Is what she said shortly after being diagnosed with gonorrhea.

Call the fire department cause my kitty on fire by Zyklon_ March 4, 2022

Just put it on a plate and call it dinner 

Just do it; go ahead and finish up; hurry up already; nothing's perfect

"You have been working on that paper all night~just put it on a plate and call it dinner!"

Just put it on a plate and call it dinner by eliball June 21, 2013

Call me a witches' hat and slap me on the arse 

A common Aussie slang term usually used when something exciting or unexpected happens.

"Man, call me a witches' hat and slap me on the arse, that was unexpected."

Call me a witches' hat and slap me on the arse by Flaming sausage August 13, 2021

Kiss Me On The Mouth And Call Me Dildo

those who are kissed on the mouth and a called a Dildo

you: "At this point... just kiss me on the mouth and call me dildo."

Kiss Me On The Mouth And Call Me Dildo by Guesseppe October 17, 2025