i could give two shits 

Disregard the first dumbshit definition of this phrase. It's grammatically correct. "I could give two shits. (But I don't)"

Synonymous with "I don't care.:

"I could give two shits about that."
"hurp dont u mean you COULDN'T give two shits?"
"You are a fool."
"wat"

i could give two shits by smartman418 November 9, 2011

I could give two shits 

This is a phrase that has the same meaning as "I don't really care" or "I could care less". It is a saying of apathy and disconcern about something or someone.

So that prick over there hates me? I could give two shits about him!

I could give two shits by Turd Burgaler July 3, 2005

Jimmy two Shits 

Someone who after hearing one of your stories, gives a similar storie but with something added. Some one that always one-ups you or if you own something they will have a better model.

He's such a Jimmy two shits, he always goes one better than me.

Jimmy two Shits by Chris Searle January 3, 2008

Master Two Shits 

another way of saying "massachusetts". Horrible drivers.

This fuckin' Master Two Shits cut into my fuckin' lane!

Master Two Shits by readme.rtf November 11, 2020

Thick as two shits 

An English term to describe who stupid somebody is.
This phrase was proved by an English donkey farmer who was found suffocated in a large pile of donkey stools.
One popular theory is that he was murdered by the donkey as it knowingly backed up and stood on him, causing him to choke upon a turd and die.

'John, you're as thick as two shits'

Thick as two shits by Shmopho September 1, 2008

Flip two shits 

When something is so amazing/surprising/disturbing that "Flipping a shit" is not adequate. The next level of "Shit flipping"

Ben: "Dude There's a half on sale on yellow chuck's at The Gap!"

Jimbo: "No need to flip two shits."

Flip two shits by Jacko Striker March 7, 2009

I don't give two and a half shits 

You really, REALLY don't care about what someone just told you.

Brody: Hey, I just found this really funny video I wanna show you, it's about this-

Ryan: I don't GIVE two and a half shits, alright?!

I don't give two and a half shits by MCGONN June 17, 2009