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Having a turkey

Advanced Cockney slang. Original form ‘having a turk’ .

Rhyming slang - Turkish bath - Laugh
To have a laugh.
Often used in disbelief.
Are you having a turkey’?
‘Your having a turkey
Having a turkey by Pike tfi November 5, 2017

Father Christmas with a Turkey on his head 

When you thought something would be good anyway but it turned out to be even better
That new film was like Father Christmas with a Turkey on his head.

cook a turkey with gravy 

To have lesbian sex utilizing a turkey baster. Sometimes with the intent of becoming pregnant.
"Jen was a hurdy gurdy dirty little girlie
I heard it from a birdie she could cook a mean turkey
with gravy"
Excerpt of Lyrics from "Jane Fonda" by Mickey Avalon.

Hey Chris, I'd like to have a baby. Wanna cook a turkey with gravy tonight?

stuffed like a turkey 

To have sex with a girl that is intoxicated, like a large man stuffs his turkey on thanksgiving...
I am going to take her to the cold dorms and stuff her like a turkey.. she wakes up and says damn I got stuffed like a turkey

Starfish on a Turkey 

Unique or unexpected.
Can be used in a complimentary, insulting, or generic way.
Generally it is used to convey a level of awesomeness.

A starfish on a turkey is not a common sight and so this phrase should not be used lightly. It is used in moments of extreme surprise and overwhelming awesomeness.
"I don't mean to be rude, but you look like a starfish on a turkey." (Interpreted as a complement, your looks are surprisingly beautiful.)

"I was not expecting that book to be so good, it was like a starfish on a turkey" (Only proper if you expected the book to be horrible and ended up being amazing beyond words.)

"Boo!"
"STARFISH ON A TURKEY! You really startled me!"

Having Sex With A Turkey

She couldn't figure out which leg to lift. It was like having sex with a turkey.