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Captain Crunch 

Incompetent and/or oblivious moron of a driver who is prone to crashing vehicles into walls, backing into cement traffic-barriers, taking out road-signs, knocking over lamp-posts, denting other parked cars, flattening potted plants, squashing trash-cans, etc.
"Helpful" neighborhood kid: Want me to move your car for you"
You: No thank you, Captain Crunch. I see all the dents you've already put in your own car!
Captain Crunch by QuacksO September 23, 2011

Captain Crunch 

He is a gay dumb ass captain that loves to crunch. Also a cereal name

Captain Crunch 

A greasy individual who will shit in public with authority.
Holy shit - Captain Crunch just crunched out a log on the side of Highway 401. I hope it rains soon to wash away the lettuce flakes.
Captain Crunch by agoblin November 9, 2017

Captain Crunch  

when a man is honored with oral pleasure by a female and right before the mans climax the female uppercuts her fist into his ballsack creating the best and worst feeling at the exact same time.
Man screaming and moaning friends overhear i bet that girl just blew his mind with a captain crunch

Captain Crunch 

Jizz in a beard that turns crunchy.
Matt loves to give Del a Captain Crunch.

I hate waking up with Captain Crunch in my beard.
Captain Crunch by engfavoritepeps October 9, 2012

Captain crunch 

When you you finished licken out the pussy, and you close your mouth and get a crunching sensation from the crusties in the puss puss.
Mitch B: how deep can I lick?
Girl: keep licking until you reach the gold ;)
*Mitch B finishes licking her out*
Girl: now close your mouth
*Crunch*
Mitch B: mm I can taste your insides!

Girl: that's a captain crunch :P
Captain crunch by Happy josh May 15, 2015