a covert communication device inserted in the vagina of a secret-agent or sexy spy. The earliest models could only send an out-going message encoded by the secret-agent squeezing her vagina in Morse-code, which was then converted the kegel contractions into radio signals. The advantage of the device was that it was unlikely to be found after a thorough frisking or
even a strip-search. In the event it was found, the secret-agent could merely explain that she was having her period (as the device looked like an ordinary
tampon with the string serving as the antenna). An improved version of the device was later devised that could receive and convey incoming messages as well as communicating outgoing messages. The incoming message, also in Morse-code, was translated into vibrations that corresponded to the dots and dashes. While effective as a communication device, this newer version suffered from the draw-back that it tended to cause intense orgasms in the secret-agents and, as the
tampon could not absorb all the natural
orgasmic lubricant due to its being filled with electronic gadgetry, the
orgasmic fluid would often carry the
tampon-transponder out into the
panties of the secret agent, and she would have to improvise a hasty trip to the
lady's room to reinsert the device before she could resume communication.
The
tampon telegraph was first used by super-models because spy agencies believed that the thinnest women had the tightest vaginas and would therefore be best able to squeeze the transponders with their vaginas to generate out-going messages. Unfortunately, the super-model secret-agents had
sex so frequently, necessitating the removal of the
tampon telegraph, that they were often out of communication, and less attractive secret agents had to be recruited.
