Allergies 

A relatively harmless passing cold that makes you feel like you're dying of AIDS.

John: Oh my God, I feel horrible today...
Sarah: OMG! Are you okay? What's wrong? Should I call a doctor?
John: No thanks babe, I just have allergies...
Sarah: Oh, okay sweetie. Get well soon, those are the WORST.

Allergies by SeZSEU August 27, 2016

big boy allergies

When a teenage boy starts jacking off more, he uses more tissues. When his parent sees his trash can, she questions him. In a panic, he blames it on his allergies.

"My mom was asking me why my trash can was so full of tissues."
"What did you say?"
"I just blamed it on my big boy allergies."

big boy allergies by big boy 442 November 14, 2016

Allergies 

I’m allergic to the sun

I have allergies

Allergies by dumb waves May 22, 2019

Clown Allergies 

1. Sneezing that is blamed on your co-workers.
2. Feeling ill dealing with incompetent co-workers.

That clown sitting in the cube next to me is giving me clown allergies.

Clown Allergies by Dust373 August 17, 2012

It's allergies

A phrase people dealing with infections such as conjunctivitis or influenza say to others when they don't want to scare anyone because they are contagious. They usually say the allergies are environmental, such as from dust or pollen, since these sorts of allergies often produce similar symptoms.

Dimitri: Why are your eyes red? Do you have pink-eye?
Ivan: It's allergies, I think it's from dust.

It's allergies by nickcityplanner January 10, 2023

pants allergies 

A preference for jeans, even in the work place and "grown up" world; an aversion to slacks.

I can't go to that client meeting! I have serious pants allergies!

pants allergies by SkippyD1 January 21, 2006

Squirrel Allergies 

The painful reality that those of us who are allergic to squirrels suffer from.

One time I was lying in the grass looking up at the clouds and all of a sudden a squirrel landed on my face. Due to my horrible squirrel allergies, my head exploded upon impact. I was rushed to the hospital, and after 38 hours of surgery from the leadong Asian headsposiologist, and a whole roll of duct tape, my squirrel allergy attack was finally taken care of.

Squirrel Allergies by Headsposiologist December 6, 2009