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Slap a ham 

To vigorously stroke ones pork sword with high velocity vinegar strokes.
I cant wait to get home and slap a ham.
Slap a ham by TheRealSampy May 29, 2016

Smoking a ham

The act of farting past a turd in your ass
I better run to the shitter, I done smoked this ham enough.

I been smoking a ham since after lunch, I better stop at sheetz and sheet.
Smoking a ham by Boogie 63 March 9, 2021

smack a ham 

"i am so going to smack a ham to some net porn tonight!"
smack a ham by brian_n_ks January 23, 2009

Squirrel In A Ham 

"Squirrel in a Ham" is the practice of inserting ones genitals inside of an overweight trans racial person while listening to the song "Brandon" by Motley Crue from the critically acclaimed 1997 Masterpiece "Generation Swine"
Dude I'm really itching to put my squirrel in a ham. I love you. I love her.
She is your mom.

chicken stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in parma ham with a side of homemade mashed potatoes 

This is the first meal Louis Tomlinson has ever cooked and it was for Harry back in 2010. It's I well known story by the Larries that Louis has told a few times.
Interviewer: "Do you do romantic stuff for your partner?"
Louis: "I once, I've only ever cooked one meal that was pretty nice, chicken stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in parma ham with a side of homemade mashed potatoes"

chicken stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in parma ham with a side of homemade mash 

The most romantic meal Louis Tomlinson cooked for his vegetarian girlfriend.
"It's date night, what do you want to eat?"
"chicken stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in parma ham with a side of homemade mash."