two shits and a fuck 

Not only to give a shit, or a fuck... but to actually give two shits and a fuck.

Usually used as an expression of sarcasm when you couldn't give any less than you already don't.

Joe: Hey man, check this out, I upgraded my character to Scroto on the game...

Dave: Wow... I could give two shits and a fuck about that... no... really... go swallow a knife and die.

two shits and a fuck by D.J. B May 25, 2007

Two shits and a Fuck 

A enhancement of the popular terms for Two shits, Give a fuck and Give a shit. All of these terms used to describe how much you don't care.

When you tell someone that you could give two shits and a fuck about something you are telling them that you not only don't care, but you are in fact angry that they even wasted precious time in your life by giving you the information that they have told you.

Basically a sarcastic way of telling some one that you really could care less about them and/or anything that is coming out or their mouth.

1. My boyfriend broke up with me because I cheated on him.

2. Honestly, you're a whore and I could give two shits and a fuck less if you haven't noticed.

Two shits and a Fuck by _Shaybear_ November 22, 2011

Two shits and a fuck 

A reaction to a very unlikable situation that could possibly make or break your life

Person A: I just cheated on my boyfriend with the most popular guy in school!

Person B: This is so exciting but bad at the same time!

Person A: Two shits and a fuck!

Two shits and a fuck by ConjointedTwins June 17, 2009

two shits to a candlestick 

to not know anything about anything

to "not hold two shits to a candlestick" is to think you know something but really know nothing

Dan: did you hear caleb's thoughts on obama care?
Emma: yeah, but the tool can't hold two shits to a candlestick when it comes to the goverment

two shits to a candlestick by secretpumpkinking May 2, 2014

Two shits in the wind 

Not give a fuck

Sorry man but I don’t give two shits in the wind about ya gran’s funeral

Two shits in the wind by anonymous February 25, 2023

Two shits past a hen fox 

You’re fucked!

You’re two shits past a hen fox bro…

Two shits past a hen fox by Honeycomb Cheerios January 24, 2024

Massive Two Shits 

Another name for the state of Massachusetts.

I hate going to Boston in Massive two shits for business.

Massive Two Shits by ThePPH February 10, 2015