Calculator 

My brain, my every ounce of being human

Guy 1: Have you seen my brain?

Guy 2: what? you lost your brain?

Guy 1: yeah, it is green and had buttons on it, oh yeah it say "Texas Instruments" on the front.

Guy 2: dude, that's a calculator

Guy 1: I DON'T CARE JUST FIND IT

Calculator by Who The Douce Are You? April 12, 2005

Calculator 

Straight up Jonathan Cooper

You really got a 36 on your ACT? You're such a fucking calculator

Calculator by theurbanpoet69 April 25, 2020

Calculator 

Malware dev's most admired system program to test whether their remote access trojan works

*plays multiplayer game* zOmG!! teh calculator have just opened by itself!11

🧐🤪🤪🤪

Calculator by ­­ June 18, 2021

Calculator 

Cheating device for those to lazy to work out 2+2.

Idiot 1: Dude, what's 2+2?

Idiot 2: Dunno. Steal Jane's calculator.

Calculator by Tyler Christie February 18, 2009

calculator 

The reason why we don't need math, especially in high school, when you'd rather be snogging.

Tim: Math is @#$%?&*!!! I hate it! I want to snog!
Tim's dad: This is why there are calculators. Don't forget the rubber, son.

calculator by AdrienneS June 21, 2006

Calculator 

Code word for phone

Brooke: *phone falls out of pocket in class*

Aiden: “You dropped your calculator.”

Brooke: “Yea, thanks.”

Teacher: “What did you drop?”

Brooke: “My calculator.”

Teacher: “Ok. Get back to work.”

Calculator by brookemt057 March 27, 2019

calculator 

for people too lazy to say "catch you all later".. saying it really fast makes it "calculator".. used especially when hurrying out of a friend's car.. or when done IMing or txting a group of friends or exiting a chat room..

me (IMing with more than 2 friends): hey gtg guys, calculator!
friend 1: i'll calculator too! bye!
friends 2 & 3: sure!

me (thanking friends for a ride home): thanks! calculator!
friends: hopefully soon!

calculator by crookedplanks October 7, 2010