functional

adj. Physical and mental state during or after a period of heavy drinking when one is able to, just barely, function on a minimalist level.

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Huge party last night girl! I did not think you would be in to work today. Say, why is your underwear overtop of your coat? And are those cereal boxes on your feet? You sure you are functional?

by gnostic3 January 1, 2018

Functional

Passable with no otherwise outstanding qualities.

The joke made me chuckle; it's functional.

by The_Kickster March 5, 2020

Functional Stoner

A person who gets stoned with a certain amount of bud but however, he or she is still at their full capacity to do certain tasks without an issue. A functional stoner can go to work or a public place and act completely normal as if they're not stoned.

John: You seen the video where Bob Marley smokes a lot of bud and then get back in the studio?
David: Yea damn how was he able to pull that off?
John: Dude, he is a functional stoner that's why

by RaphDaGwapMan August 18, 2013

functional idiot

A person who isn't real bright, but is capable, and sometimes very good, at enough things in life to succeed.

Tim is a functional idiot. He may be a little slow, but he's a great mechanic, and is well liked around the shop.

by someguy1985 November 7, 2015

Functional Stoner

A person who smokes pot all day everyday but is still badass enough to get all their shit done.

I just did all my homework, I'm definitely a functional stoner.

by So Bomb. February 19, 2010

Functional alcoholic

Someone who can maintain an orderly, outward social appearance while their personal life has devolved into complete chaos due to over-drinking. Their friends and family are often impressed with their achievements, while the alcoholic knows that their drinking has lead to a full-blown loss of control and that it is just a matter of time until their behavior blows up in their face. In a bad way.

Emelio's friends/family: " Emelio is about to graduate med school. We are so proud. We only wish we could accomplish as much".

Emelio: "I am a functional alcoholic. Everyone I know thinks I'm doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. I can't believe I BS'd my way through med school and got a 3.8 GP because I don't remember any of it. I can't believe I'm almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a DUI thus far. Everyone thinks I'm so great, but in reality, I'm totally fucking dangerous but I just haven't been caught yet. It's all catching up with me though. It's only a matter of time until I do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a fuck-up I truly am.

by ???s upon ???s September 1, 2016

functional high

When you use a vape (mflb) to smoke bud and it hit's just right and you are able to go out and be high with people around, but no one notices.

Person: Dude how are you able to go out a be yourself and still be high?
Me: I use a (mflb) and it hit's just right, so it gives me a functional high.

by Andy'sCandy October 9, 2016