Me: …..
Mom: LET ME SEE POWERSCHOOL OR ELSE YOUR GROUNDED Me: *shows my grades*
Mom: WHY DO YOU HAVE C’S AND D’S!?? ITS BECAUSE OF THAT DAMN PHONE AND XBOX
Me: No it’s because I don’t know anything about stoichmetry, quadratic functions, and the name of the waiter that made hitlers food in a restaurant in 1930 (literal question btw)
Mom: Your grounded
2. After a shower using a hair dryer to dry out your own testicles. This is a method used in damp climates to keep crotch rot to a minimum.
3. After a shower using the hair dryer to dry your balls because that is the most intimate fun you have had in the last 18 months.
My woman has some unusual and exciting tricks. During our kayaking trip in Morro Bay, while walking the sand dunes on the spit, she offered to blow dry my grapes. After that sunny, and gritty, experience I, Black Bart Roberts, have trouble going back to the modest comfort and joy of the Posturpedic Missionary position.