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Troyberculosis 

An emotional disease, that mainly affects the heart. When you are sighted by a wild Troy, you will be instantly randy and willing to get filled with his hot beast. No known cure has been discovered, there is however, a remedy; If you fondle Troy's sack aggressively, squeeze both his nipples thrice and softly whisper your darkest fear to him, he will retreat
Dude 1: My wife has a serious case of Troyberculosis...
Dude 2: How can you tell?
Dude 1: Our child looks exactly like Troy! The missus didn't stand a chance.
Dude 2: Mate... Troyberculosis only affects males. I think your wife may of just fucked Troy...
Dude 1: Shiiit
Troyberculosis by GozUnlimited April 3, 2020
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Tooberculosis 

Man look at that guy he's got tooberculosis

Tomberculosis

An acute condition affecting overzealous Tom Brady fans. Symptoms may include: Insisting on injecting obscure facts about Tom Brady or The New England Patriots into unrelated conversations, living day to day with delusional episodes centered around fantasies involving Tom Brady (such as being alone with Tom on a remote desert island, or sniffing his socks), and aggressively defending Tom Brady's legacy even when their audience is uninterested.

No known cure for the condition and it is recommended that the afflicted be quarantined in Southeastern Massachusetts to live out their lives and not bother the rest of us. Current medical studies have produced limited evidence suggesting that if The Patriots lose enough consecutive Superbowls the disease returns to a dormant state indefinitely.
Hey man, I took that girl I met online out on a date last night. I tried talking to her but all she did was go on about Tom Brady and how "awesome" he is the entire night. I think she has Tomberculosis. I hope I didn't catch it too.
Tomberculosis by Sir-HC February 9, 2019