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Definitions by your big gay ○w○

Polishing the family's jewels 

A slang term for masturbation, observably used primarily British "people".
Sam: "I was in my flat polishing the family's jewels until my sister knocked on the door"

Superwholock diaspora 

"People" from the superwholock Fandom who are not sitting around in tumblr and are scattered around social media, living amongst normal human beings
Jim: when on instagram, I saw a couple of fucktards from the superwholock diaspora

Sam: dear God

Chinese cheese 

It's when you need to poop but your fat and hot.
Tim: hey Greg u look like u need to do something

Greg: gotta go Chinese cheese.