wolfbait51's definitions

emergency hard hat

A construction type hard hat kept in the trunk of an automobile for shit emergencies allowing wearer "no questions asked" free access to tens of thousands of Porta Potties nationwide.

When I wear my emergency hard hat,I can use the Porta-John at any construction site and nobody gives me a second glance.

by wolfbait51 August 7, 2011

exersted

exhausted from exertion or exhausted from exercise

After about 25 pushups,I'm totally exersted.

by wolfbait51 February 20, 2011

involuntary decapitation

Involuntary decapitation is where you accidentally rear-end a little old lady in her automobile and her wig flies out of the passenger's window leading you to believe her shoulder belt decapitated her.

When I saw that poor old woman's wig on the side of the road,I just knew I was going to be charged with involuntary decapitation.

by wolfbait51 May 4, 2011

sizemologist

A person who spends way too much time mentally measuring cakes,pies,pizzas,etc determining which piece/slice is the biggest.

I'm waiting for the sizemologist to finish eye-balling the pizza and select his piece first.

by wolfbait51 May 17, 2011

boxing glove

The triangular roll of fat on an obese woman directly beneath the FUPA (fat upper pussy area) that kinda resembles a boxing glove. A really fat cameltoe.

Those sweat pants really accentuate her boxing glove.

by wolfbait51 November 23, 2011

Vlad the Impaler

This is where an individual has to take a shit in the wee hours of the morning and sleepily stumbles into the bathroom without turning on the lights. Being half asleep and disoriented in the dark,the individual squats,but is off a few inches,and sits on the handle to the toilet brush or commode plunger located next to the toilet,thusly impaling themselves.

After my terrifying Vlad the Impaler experience,I now religiously turn on the bathroom lights.

by wolfbait51 December 11, 2011

toilet paper boxing glove

A toilet paper boxing glove is where some individuals use half a roll of toilet paper each time they wipe their butt.The entire hand is wound with 10-20 wraps of TP all the way down to the wrist. At first glance,the toilet tissue bandaged hand might be mistaken to be broken or badly burned.

Dad looked like he'd been to the emergency room with that toilet paper boxing glove.

by wolfbait51 April 16, 2011