torpeella

Are tortillas that a female uses to wipe herself after urinating and are then used to make burritos

Matt knew that giving Nickki lotsa Margaritas meant there'd be a good chance of him having a burrito wrapped in a tangy and tasty torpeella!!

by von groovy April 29, 2019

interwent

A way to explain how you've wasted 87 minutes of your life online with nothing gained from it.

Dan: "i thought you'd be here at 8?!?"

Diane"i interwent. I'm here now. Get over it."

by von groovy June 09, 2019

capless convictions

Nothing but bold truth statements

Ernie was not one for bullshitting or wasting anyone's time with being vague about how he felt about things. Ernie only spoke capless convictions and everyone loved him for it

by von groovy August 03, 2024

galcohol

When you have no lady in your life and you're lonely, you eventually start dating galcohol to get through the night

Bruce had it bad, but at least he had his galcohol to get through the severe and utter emptiness he felt every waking moment of his pointless existence

by von groovy April 07, 2019

Thank you, John Lennon

It's pretty simple. I say this sometimes. He was not a perfect human, but he's brought me joy many times, He just did it again.

As Jenny was learning how to play the guitar, she knew that "Across the Universe" was something she wanted to know. When she got to the second chorus she began to weep at the sheer beauty of how "nothing's gonna change her world." She set her guitar down and declared, "Thank you, John Lennon."

by von groovy August 12, 2024

handling the merchandise

The act of masturbating in a grocery store while employing the merchandise to complete the act

"Clean up on aisle 3 in produce. Someone has been handling the merchandise and the avocados have been abused"

by von groovy September 15, 2019

enabled

The opposite of someone who is disabled. This is an able-bodied person who manipulates the system to get out of working, being a responsible parent, and a productive citizen.

Paul: My great uncle's V.A. benefits continue to get cut. He literally eats a can of beans for dinner to save for gas money to drive 83 miles each way to the V.A. hospital each week! Meanwhile, his neighbor - an able-bodied fuck - has never worked, has the government pay for his kid's daycare, gets free bus passes that he throws away, sells his EBT benefits for weed, and brags about how he rips off the government that he hates!!
Steve: He was a sniper in the Marines, right?
Paul: Yeah, he was. 23 kills.
Steve: He should shoot that enabled trash.

by von groovy June 13, 2017